Solitary travel
Her voice may be sweetly feminine, but her personality has a warrior's resolve. She envies the scholars of the past for the vast and variegated quality of their lives. The great Su Dongpo, for one, was a scholar, government official, poet, essayist; he devised a solution to control flooding. They could grow into complete people, wise and committed to righteousness.
Although famous for her prose, she has also made substantial contributions to theater. Personally brought along by playwright Lee Man-guei, she worked continuously for 20 years in the dramatic idiom. Her famous play The Fifth Wall garnered a Golden Tripod Award, after which she went on to write several other plays.
Being an essayist and a playwright are two entirely different endeavors. "When you finish with an essay, you're done; when you finish the script for a play, the work's only just begun-it's far more exhausting!" she exclaims, referring to the stress of finding actors, a director, musical and set coordinators, and then on top of that worrying about the box-office receipts. And this is the process that she must endure each time, as a result of her undiluted investment into everything she does.
Despite inhabiting various different roles, she maintains that the role she prizes most is that of simply being herself. As Mother's Day approached one year, her son asked what he could do for her to make the day special. But Chang merely replied that spending the day alone away from it all just relaxing was the best possible present.
That day she drove alone along the Yangmingshan-Jinshan Highway towards the main peak of Mt. Datun. Hardly any tourists were there, and she was able to contemplate Mt. Qixing across the way in quiet repose. "It was a lonely day, but a great day. To be able to return to a state of inner tranquility was everything I needed," she says.
Traveling alone is one of her favored methods of "returning to inner tranquility." She has her share of cherished memories of family trips, but her most precious journeys have been made in solitude, like the five days she spent at the lake at the foot of Mt. Fuji in Japan. That trip, what she calls her best vacation, consisted of riding around on a bicycle, reading, and enjoying time to think in peace.
One time when she was leisurely strolling the grounds of the Yuelu Academy in Hunan Province, a graduate student type approached her saying, "The Yuelu Academy is really something special-unlike Oxford or Cambridge, it isn't tainted by any vestigial religious affiliation." Chang's reply: "I suppose that's true, unless you consider Confucianism a religion!" The student then asked her to wait a bit while he went to fetch the head curator for further discussion. This kind of opportunity to converse at length as an anonymous individual free of any of her daily responsibilities is something she really enjoys. But when time doesn't allow for distant travel, she can still manage quick getaways to places like Nanshi Creek at Wulai, Taipei County, where she can sip tea and get to enjoy quiet time. "It's heavenly!" she says.
Return to the self
The place that she just recently moved into has a tiny, cramped little kitchen tucked forlornly into a corner that she facetiously dubbed "the Pentagon." A talented recent graduate of Taipei First Girl's High School, Gao Yujun, provided a calligraphic inscription, "Pentagon," to adorn the wall, as well as a couplet framing the entryway: "In one millet seed resides the world; in one wok the universe cooks." According to Chang, the kitchen is a woman's dominion. It should be full of fragrance, but also exude cultural refinement.
Now aged 70-the age at which Confucius famously said he followed his heart's desire-she feels a growing pull towards simplicity, the trimming away of superfluous desires, and a return to her essential self. When she was a middle-school student, she loved the passionate idealism of Russian authors Tolstoy, Dostoyevsky, and Turgenev, but perhaps because of the passage of time or the changes in her life, she now finds herself gravitating towards Su Dongpo, Xin Jiaxuan, and Lu You, who wrote more approachable works reflecting daily life.
There's more to her life than her work as author, teacher, lecturer, and playwright; she's equally interested in living a life of elegant simplicity. She points out some of the pottery pieces she created that are hanging as decoration. They are inscribed with two Chinese characters meaning sunrise and sunset, connoting a dedication to finding the beauty in life's every moment. She has a passion for design. She'll take an old pair of jeans or a handkerchief and ask someone to recycle them into a bag or apron based on her design.
Recycling is all well and good, but she does feel conflict between the need to preserve objects that she has feeling for and the desire to live frugally.
When having a new collar attached to an old shirt, even the tailor hired to do the work will cluck, "Nobody wears collars out like this and then mends them anymore!" These days it's more costly to repair than it is to buy something new. In order to maximize the mileage out of leftover chicken bones, she had to purchase an expensive pressure cooker so as to be able to cook them properly. She can't bear to part with her old set of bamboo curtains, yet buying replacements is a more frugal option than rethreading them. So great is her desire to economize that she has no qualms about using windows from dismantled ships as ad-hoc shelves or salvaging a discarded, though perfectly serviceable, chair abandoned on the road.
Art of living
She's always led an active and comfortable life, but one marked by discipline and restraint and the awareness that "time is limited, and therefore should not be wasted." She tries, therefore, to be present in the moment, and not make too many promises about the future.
On this topic, she recounts a story of a friend in the construction business who had some highly lucrative contracts in Saudi Arabia. The friend commented that while it was easy to make money there, there were also a number of snags along the way. For example, even as simple a statement as "Tomorrow we will meet at 10" would be met with the ambiguous reply, "Yes, if it is the will of Allah." In their eyes, to suggest any degree of human control over events would border on arrogance. Referencing the will of Allah in a sense conveys modesty in the face of a mercurial universe far beyond human governance, for "life is but a contract that may be terminated instantly."
Speaking of life and death, Chang praises the words of the famous monk Guang Qin, whose dying words were, "There is no arrival or departure: all is nothing." However, she dilutes the severity of the monk's credo by saying that "life, when lived well, approaches art." She still continues to learn constantly. One of her epiphanies is that the old Chinese saw, "If you have children, you will be taken care of in old age" should really be "If you have children, you will never be obsolete." Growing along with one's children keeps one from falling out of touch with society.
When asked about her latest writing plans, she laughs, "Of course I'm not going to tell-you can't open a vat of wine until it's done fermenting!"
As for the notion of writing an autobiography, she laughs it off, saying that she's not old enough yet. "Writing an autobiography," she says, "is more than just inspiration and talent-it demands that one thoroughly plumb one's life and times, and be able to transport people to the past." For now, she says she'll write one if she has time. But even though she of all people knows how to achieve the most by making use of time, it's nevertheless clear that her social involvement will ensure that she stays busy, energetic, and fulfilled.