Crazy parents
Seeing a long road of competition stretching away in front of their children, parents are anxious to prepare them for this future, and some try to do so by sending them "into battle" before they have even reached school age.
One kindergarten that displays the slogan "all-round, all-English" touts its ability to instill children with "leadership qualities, artistic gifts, and outstanding English." It also stresses that its teaching system can satisfy parents' and society's demand for pre-school education to be "diverse, international, scientific, and refined." Similar all-English kindergartens have recently been springing up like weeds. But how many people can really be "gifted, outstanding leaders"?
Before the Chinese New Year, a third-year student at Taipei's Chienkuo Junior High School-a gifted child who excelled at maths and physics-ran away to Hualien and committed suicide. This news rekindled critical discussion in education circles, and came as a stark warning to many parents.
Gifted education expert Wu Wu-tien, who is dean of the college of education at National Taiwan Normal University, observes that in Taiwan, education for gifted children overemphasizes knowledge at the expense of emotional education. This, combined with society's and families' high expectations, leads to gifted children having a high IQ but a low EQ, and a poor ability to deal with setbacks. They are also unused to seeking help from others, and this is what finally leads some to take their own lives. "This is the result of adults' ignorance," says Li Chia-tung, who avers that parents with any sense would never tell their child, "You're gifted." Natural talent is not something that can be taught, but many Taiwanese parents try to play God by "cultivating" gifted children.
If the overall scholastic environment does not change, and competition remains an inevitable trend, then of course children will be put under so much pressure that they can barely catch their breath. But is competitive ability necessarily related to studiousness? Do good grades and the ability to pass tests mean that someone will be able to compete?
"You can imagine what kind of person you want your child to be, but you can't plan it. You can provide a diverse environment, but don't try too hard to mould your child." Lin Ku-fang, director of the graduate institute of arts at Fo Guang University, who has two mischievous sons of his own, says that you only have to look around and see how many people work in jobs unrelated to what they studied, and how many study subjects that do not match their interests, to know that there are many things in life that can't be planned in advance. This is why building a child's competitiveness does not mean giving him or her specific skills, but the ability to adapt to a rapidly changing environment.
You can't compete unless you're happy
Liang Pei-yung says that in an age of division of labor and specialization, it is teamwork and interpersonal relationships that are all-important. Therefore in addition to specialist skills, being able to co-operate with other people, express oneself, deal with one's own emotions and cope with stress are skill of perhaps greater value. "I'm not against parents' building their children's future competitive ability, but please let your children live in the present!" begs Liang.
Lin Ku-fang observes that people's obsession with competitiveness is in fact a reflection of mass anxiety about Taiwan's national future.
Liang Pei-yung says that although competition will be unavoidable in future society, what is more important is how to face and deal with the stress that competition creates. He reminds parents that "speaking" and "playing" are two effective means by which children can deal with negative emotions. But it can be very difficult for them speak their minds, because so many adults are not capable of listening to what children have to say.
According to the Child Welfare League Foundation's survey, more than 40% of children choose to bottle up their worries, because they "don't want to talk about it," because "talking is no use," or even because they "don't know who to tell." In view of this, in April of last year the CWLF set up a children's helpline called "Ow! Hey! Oh!" to give children a channel by which to "get things off their chest," and thereby satisfy their need for emotional support.
CWLF vice-executive director Alicia Wang states that since the helpline was set up it has received an average of 28 calls a day from children, more than 80% of them girls. More than half the problems that children phone in with are difficulties with their peers at school. Many also use the line as a channel to relieve the stress of schoolwork, or to seek ways to relieve that stress. "It is noteworthy that even children in the early years of school are showing obvious signs of study-related stress," says Wang.
Play is another way for children to relieve stress. In fact, if parents understand how to give their children a free rein when appropriate, this not only reduces the pressure on them, but is also a way to help them stay emotionally balanced and enhance their ability to cope with problems.
For instance, during term time Chen Shu-ying keeps a close watch over her son's schoolwork, but during the winter and summer holidays she makes it a point to not send him to a day-care center, nor to arrange any classes for him. "I want my son to know what holidays are. If he can't relax even in the holidays, how will he have the energy to start the next term?"
In fact, every child has a different temperament, so the stresses of studying affect them in different ways, and one cannot generalize. In other words, a child who studies may not be unhappy, and a child who plays all day is not necessarily growing up happily. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to bringing up children, and each one's education has to be tailored to his or her character and abilities.
Modern parents are nervously racking their brains as they grapple with the practicalities of trying to give their children a happy childhood, yet build their future competitive abilities. But we should also spare a thought for the children who are the center of all this attention. What does the future hold for them?