Li straddles the linguistic divide between Chinese and Japanese with consummate skill, swinging freely and gracefully like a monkey in the treetops while survey­ing all that goes on in the world down below.

After double-majoring as an undergraduate student in Chinese and Japanese literature, Li obtained a master’s degree in Japan. Now, her sharp linguistic sensibility shows clearly through in her finely crafted writing. Her first novel, Solo Dance, written in Japanese, made a big splash in Japanese literary circles in 2017 when it earned her the 60th Gunzo Award for New Writers.

courtesy of Bungei Shunju

Fortuitous yet inevitable

With Li Kotomi, political, social, and gender-related issues that often receive opaque treatment suddenly emerge into the clear, soft light of a full moon.

Li confides: “Actually, I never imagined when I first got to Japan that I would ever publish literary works in Japan­ese.” Right after obtaining her master’s degree in 2013 she took a job at a Japanese firm, but her seemingly ordin­ary life soon took a dramatic turn. “I had already started writing back in Taiwan.” With that in her background, creative forces long in the making continued to bubble forth. “I just wrote things that I felt like writing.” Still employed full-time, she could only write in the evenings and on weekends and holidays, but there were things inside that just had to come out. Filled with a sense of mission, she spent night after night creating her first novel, Solo Dance, over a period of five months.

Solo Dance is set in Taiwan, and falls squarely within the category of LGBT literature. In the epilogue to the Chinese-­language version of Solo Dance, Li states: “I didn’t set out shooting for this or that literary prize.” But Li pours her heart and soul into everything she writes, and the prizes have just come naturally.

Li Kotomi (left) gave a talk on her novel Solo Dance at the Taipei International Book Exhibition in 2019. (photo by Lin Shaohuang, courtesy of Unitas Publishing)

Striking a sympathetic chord

Li affirms that Solo Dance is very reflective of her own experience in growing up. “The process of writing it was really a struggle.” In all this big world of ours, there was not the tiniest corner for her to call her own. And so she wrote of the oppressive futility of it all.

“The idea of dancing alone in the dark pretty much describes what I went through for many years starting in my early teens.” Li confides that she suffered big emotional blows time and again as a senior-high-school and university student, and often wished she’d never been born. But over time she learned the art of self-distancing, reached a point of emotional release, and came to experi­ence caring and love. Then came time to put thoughts to page. The writing process caused old wounds to bleed anew, and she laid the mess out before jolted readers.

But even in the depths of despair, Li never lost her basic human decency. While busy freeing herself from unseen shackles, she also looked about in the dark loneli­ness for a faint light that might cast a ray of redemp­tion she could share with others.

courtesy of Shueisha

A way of thinking

“When I write in Japanese, I think completely in Japan­ese.” Fascinated as a young teen by Japanese manga and anime, Li began studying Japanese on her own at age 15. This led eventually to formal coursework and reading of Japanese literature. In just over a decade, she developed a subtle understanding of the language. “Every language is unique in some way.” Publishing in a non-native language has indeed been a challenge.

After she won the Gunzo Award for New Writers in 2017 for Solo Dance, Li went on to publish her book in Chinese at the invitation of Unitas Publishing. She then translated Count to Five and the Crescent Moon into Chinese, and now a Chinese version of An Island Where the Equinox Flowers Bloom is expected to come out eventually.

“When I translate my own works, needless to say I under­stand the author’s intent.” It is a natural and fun task for her. “After all, Chinese was the language of my education in Taiwan, and I majored in Chinese at university.”

“My first exposure to the classics of Chinese and Western literature was through children’s versions.” Growing up in a remote rural area, Li had parents who believed strongly in the value of education and made sure she had lots of books to read. As a junior-high student facing the intense pressure of upcoming senior-high entrance ­exams, reading was her only outlet.

“But I wasn’t exposed to serious literature until I was in senior high school.” Eileen Chang, Kenneth Pai, Chien Chen... one after another, Li soaked up their writings like a sponge. “For me, Chien Chen’s Water Questions was a real eye-opener.” The rigorous logic of it awakened Li to the delving and sifting that can take place within dialogue. “Extensive reading is the only way to make progress.” Li acknowledges that her narrative style in Solo Dance was influ­enced by Qiu Miaojin. “When I wrote Solo Dance, I had just finished rereading Qiu’s Notes of a Crocodile.” But it was Afterwards, a novel by Lai Hsiang-yin, that taught Li what true healing is all about and prompted the writing of Solo Dance. Also, a series of lesbian novels by Kaho Naka­yama trained Li to appreciate gay and lesbian literature from a different perspective.

“The locations in my novels—the US, China, Sydney—are all places I’ve been to myself.” Experiences and observa­­tions acquired on the road are sources of inspira­tion for her writing. Fact checkers would find that the details of fictitious scenes match up with reality. The multi­plicity of languages spoken in An Island Where the Equinox Flowers Bloom, which sparked strong interest on the Japanese liter­ary scene, originated in Li’s own formidable gift and en­thusi­asm for languages. “I’m very interested in phono­logy.” Li is thankful that learning has fed into her creativity.

“Besides double-majoring in Chinese and Japanese literature, I was also very interested in sociology.” After enrolling at National Taiwan University, Li plunged into exploration of ideas on gender identity, feminism, and soci­ology, all of which have informed her subsequent work as an author and translator.

courtesy of Kodansha

Meditations on history

In each of her novels, Li has followed her own unique instincts in sharing trenchant observations and com­muni­cating the pain of being rejected by the mainstream.

“Actually, certain elements of theme consciousness thread their way through all of my work. I’ve always thought about the significance of country, culture, and history. I focus on the crises facing modern society and politics, and the pain of fighting against those who would label us.”

Dressed in red and black traditional Chinese garb as she took the podium to accept the Akutagawa Prize for An Island Where the Equinox Flowers Bloom, Li solemnly spoke of something she discovered as a young teen: There is a corner of the world unreached by the light of day. There is a hand, as large as the universe, “that pushes the unlucky toward the abyss of hopelessness, and sometimes into the valley of death.” Li’s writing moves readers because her pain enables her to convey with stark precision the dark futility of one born behind the eight ball. The ordinary experiences that most people take for granted are, for the unlucky, something to be gazed upon longingly from afar. Even when they psych themselves up and choose to believe that all is well, it is only self-deceit, for there is no escaping their ever-present despair and gnawing fear.

Li has come to understand that some things are just inevitable. By speaking the unvarnished truth, she strives for an equitable co-existence, and works toward a longed-for reconciliation. Her hope is that homo­sexuality will be acknowledged and respected.

“The prizes are for the old me. The novels are for my readers.” As for the future, “I currently have no mid- to long-term writing plan.” Having won multiple prizes for promising new writers on the Japanese literary scene, Li reacts with equanimity to both praise and criti­cism, and awaits whatever may lie in store, calmly and without regrets, while we look forward to the splendors of her future creative endeavors.      

courtesy of Unitas Publishing

After double-majoring in Chinese and Japanese literature at university in Taiwan, Li Kotomi obtained a master’s degree in Japan. Now, her sharp linguistic sensibility shows clearly through in her finely crafted writing. (photo by Naoto Otsubo, courtesy of Li Kotomi)

The Night of the Shining North Star is a Japanese-language novel by Li Kotomi. (courtesy of Chikuma Shobo)

Li Kotomi’s first novel, Solo Dance, written in Japanese, earned her the 60th Gunzo Award for New Writers in 2017. She has since translated it into Chinese and had it published in Taiwan. (courtesy of Unitas)