There are all kinds of situations in the job market. Some people are unemployed by choice, preferring to rest a bit before starting off fresh. Some people hold so fast to their "iron rice bowls" (steady jobs) that if they are laid off their whole life goes to pieces and they cannot find the strength to start climbing upward again.

Story One

Huang Ya-chin (a pseudonym), 32 years old, unmarried, BA from Department of Chinese, now a reporter at a magazine

This is my first day back on the job after two years. It's the same office, and the same colleagues, and the responsibilities are largely unchanged. Yet, despite feelings of familiarity, I also feel like a stranger.

Why did I leave the labor force two years ago? Probably it was because the pressures of unfailingly getting articles to print by the deadline was too heavy. Moreover, I was never very sure of my own direction or what I wanted. I was constantly starting and stopping, and always felt there was not enough personal growth or spiritual satisfaction. It was only after talking to several people that I discovered that in fact everyone was equally confused.

Growth in unemployment

After resigning, I returned to Hsinchu, and immediately my days became more low-key. I was happy every second that I was at home, and things seemed more real and substantial. Though I lived alone on one floor, and rarely entered the lives of my brother, sister-in-law, and parents downstairs, I filled my time up with enriching activities. For example, I audited classes at Tsing Hua University, trained for volunteer work, and spent time as a counselor. My training included classes on staging psychological role-playing (in group "growth" sessions) and music therapy. I was so lucky to finally have some quiet time to look back and reassess my life path.

Working as a volunteer was a new challenge. In a prison I led groups of convicted felons trying to get off drugs. Occasionally I wrote articles for publication, or gave little lectures in psychological guidance classes. These experiences were impossible when I was busy working.

However, without a regular salary, inevitably material concerns arose. Fortunately my father had given me a small studio apartment, and my older brother gave me a second-hand car. I had some savings of my own, as well as a sporadic income, and in fact I felt more materially well-off and satiated than I had when I was still working in Taipei. Of course I knew that I was very lucky, and that not every unemployed person has such a supportive environment, so I often felt very thankful.

However, I feel that material things in the end represent a certain dignity, and it was still necessary to clearly separate myself from my family in terms of money. At first, I was sometimes too lazy to go down to the bank to take out cash, so I would just go downstairs and borrow some pocket money from my family. Later I found out that they were getting very worried about me, and even were trying to figure out how to "rescue" me financially, which made me feel pretty uncomfortable. Thus, no matter what, I always avoided taking handouts from my family. Anyway, I learned to spend frugally, living for several days on NT$1000 when I used to spend that in a day in Taipei, yet getting by all the same.

I won't let my job drag me down

During this period, I had many chances to go back to work, for example doing public relations work for the Industrial Technology Research Institute, serving as editor of a corporate in-house publication, or being a teacher. But these jobs all seemed to me-how shall I put it-to be ones in which you could "see all the way to the bottom in a single glance." They didn't seem interesting at all. For me, surviving is easy, but gaining a sense of spiritual satisfaction is not.

It's just that, after a long time living at home, I was unable to stay focused on any one task, I didn't earnestly build up anything, and I had no interpersonal relationships to draw on. In the end there was still a sense of emptiness, of being at the margins. So I decided to come back.

How long will I stay this time? I don't know. There are too many unexpected things in life, and it seems impossible to plan things out beforehand. But I will choose an environment in which I can grow, and try to stick with it. After going through a dormant period, I feel that work is not just a position, but a chance to use my abilities. I know that I can write, that I can lead groups, that I can give talks, so I have a great deal of confidence. If the job I have found proves to be fun and interesting, I will be very happy. But if it becomes a hindrance to personal growth, I will give it up. I guess I haven't "learned my lesson" yet.

Story Two

Chang Li-jen (a pseudonym), 43 years old, unmarried, BS in Civil Engineering, was laid off by a large engineering consulting firm, now works as a security guard

In fact, as early as the middle of last year, the shadow of cutbacks was already there. The reason was very simple. We did engineering consulting, and as large infrastructure projects were completed one after another, while prospective ones like the Kaohsiung mass transit system or the high speed railway have been delayed, there was no work. Idle employees who had finished their projects were transferred here and there, finally being laid off when there was no place to send them.

Who has the power of life and death?

Under these circumstances, layoffs were inevitable. The boss offered to give 1.2 times the usual severance pay to anyone who left voluntarily. Naturally I wasn't willing to take this incentive, but after staying only three more months I also hit the road. As for what priority group I was laid off in, and as for how many people got laid off altogether, sorry, but the boss didn't say. We could only guess that there were probably several hundred. Though I heard that last year the construction industry laid off more than 100,000 workers. Amazing, more than 100,000 people, just think! Such a group of ants-when the boss says live you live, and when he says die you die.

So who got laid off in the end? As you would think, the unfortunate, those without connections, and those excluded from the in-group. After news of job cutbacks started floating around, no one talked about it. Everyone was highly educated, and no one wanted to look bad, but privately everyone was acting under the table, doing anything they could to secure positions. Moreover, on the surface you had to be more dedicated and more docile. Otherwise, if you made any little mistake someone would immediately report it to our superiors. Have you ever seen sharks in the sea? If a shark is wounded, it will do everything it can to keep the wound closed to keep blood from spilling out. Otherwise your colleagues would smell blood and immediately eat you alive. That's the way we were.

Do I sound bitter? Yes, I guess so. I've never been willing to suck up to people. After being laid off, I tried to find a job in another large engineering consulting firm, but they had a hiring freeze on. And small companies couldn't possible have laboratory work for me to do-I used to do soil testing. After scooping up soil samples I did geologic analysis and basic design; sometimes I would go to the jobsite to oversee work. Why didn't I go to the jobsites to be one of the guys who works on the project directly? That's not possible unless you can make the harsh choice to suffer and endure. We are not like apprentice workers, who are used to hard labor from childhood, so it's impossible for us to do it. If I did it for one week, I'd be completely exhausted.

So, after turning this way and that with nowhere to go, things were getting desperate, so I went to a security company to apply for a job as a guard in a high-rise. My salary dropped from over NT$60,000 per month before to NT$20,000-plus now. I didn't have any qualms about this. Anyway, I'm only doing this as a temporary stop-gap while I am unemployed. As for the alternatives, I'm too young to retire, and it's no solution to stay at home and have me and my Dad staring at each other, and I have to hear him nagging all day until it drives me up the wall.

There must be a place for me

In the future, my goal is still to pass the exam and get my license as a civil engineering technician. Otherwise I'll take the high-level civil service exam, that's OK too. I hope that the economy improves, so I can return to the construction industry and do something I am more familiar with. Of course, it's hard to pass the exams, and these days everybody is racking their brains to compete in the exams. The problems are more and more detailed, with more and more depth. When you get older, you study something today, but the next day you've forgotten it. If you don't have some qualification, there is no job security. The only thing to do is buckle down and keep trying.

Is it good to be a guard in an apartment building? I'll tell you, it's terrible. I've been with three different security companies since March. Turnover is incredible in this field, and they are very short of people. Sometimes you answer the help-wanted ad in the morning and by the afternoon you are picking up your uniform to start work, with no training at all. But the boss doesn't lose out, because the first seven days are a probationary period, and you don't get a dime. If you don't pass the probationary period, you've just worked for him for nothing.

But really it's hard to stand this job. It's boring and the pay is low. You just sit there for 12 or 16 hours, with absolutely nothing to do. There's no sense of accomplishment to speak of, and nothing to look forward to. I know that there is some "building superintendent's training class," but I got used to having my freedom. Right now there are only three things I can't get past-you can't leave your post or walk around, there is no sleeping for the whole night, and your uniform can't be the least bit off. If I can't handle these three demands, then it would be useless to attend the training class. But if you really had the patience and ability to follow the rules in the first place, why would you ever become a security guard?

Anyway, I'm not young anymore. I have no wife or kids, and I don't want to make things hard on myself. Before when I was at the construction site, I could take my shirt off, play cards, and smoke one cigarette after another. Now, just for smoking a cigarette, residents in the building have reported me many times. Maybe it's because I'm not on the edge of death, but I don't care. There are security companies everywhere, and they are all looking for people, so I'll just drift along for awhile and see what happens.

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Would you choose to work as a security guard? There are many tragic tales in the job market. Why not lend a sympathetic ear and real concern to those around us who have lost their jobs? (photo by Pu Hua-chih)