Lin Yi-hui, who tested into Taipei's Fuhsing Primary School at the age of nine, has had a very typical "music program" career: She studied at Fuhsing Primary School, Nanmen Middle School, National Taiwan Normal University's affiliated high school and National College of the Arts before going abroad for three years of study in France at the Ecole Normale de Musique de Paris. In 1995, she received her concertiste de flute certificate and returned to Taiwan.

Lin, a small woman with long hair and a squint that appears when she smiles, currently teaches in the music programs at several schools. In the first half of this year, she and several other young female graduates of various music programs put together the Joueurs de Flutes Ensemble under the guidance of her teacher, Fan Man-nung.

How does Lin feel looking back at her "music program career" from the age of nearly 30?

"Actually, my career in the music programs began a little inadvertently. My parents are both business people who don't really understand music or think it especially important. Nonetheless, I'd studied in a Yamaha children's program from an early age to make me 'more of a lady.'

"Encouraged by my teacher, I took the admissions test for Fuhsing Elementary School in the second grade. I remember there were a lot of people in our class then, 50 or 60 of us all packed in together. Of these, 30 were music program students, while the rest were not. Although we had different curricula, we got along well. It wasn't like today where there's this huge distance between the music program kids and everyone else. But later, in middle school and high school, maybe because the music program had air-conditioned classrooms and practice studios, and because we could wear bright clothes [in contrast to the uniforms other students had to wear] to go to performances, the music program students and the regular students slowly drew apart. We had a vague sense that they didn't accept us."

Children without a childhood

"Though there was some distance between us and the regular classes, the students in the music program were really close to one another. For example, when most people hold primary- and middle-school class reunions, the conversation jumps around without much of a focus. No one has any powerful memories. But the music program classes are different. We took classes together, performed together, went abroad to perform together and advanced through the school system along the same narrow path. (I studied at what were in my day the only public schools in Taipei with music programs; there were no other choices.) Even now, we often encounter one another professionally. The circles in which we move are so small you could say that our lives and fates are linked. So naturally, we have lots to talk about.

"Of course, these memories are both good and bad. Even though things were simpler and competition less intense in our day, there was no way for music program kids to avoid rivalry and competition among ourselves.

"Why? Maybe because music program kids mature earlier. Other people's childhoods are happy and carefree. But from a young age we were bound up, there was so much expected of us. We spent three to four hours every day practicing. And there were all kinds of tests and rankings. Putting together the music and the academics, we faced twice as much pressure and twice as much competition.

Thinking back on it now, I'm a little startled to realize that we were kids without a childhood. From our youth, we traveled a path that was laid out for us. Especially for me, since I got good scores in both music and academics, things went smoothly, so smoothly that I never faced any struggles or doubts about why I was practicing music for three hours every day. I didn't wonder why I was making music my work. I just sailed right along.

"Do I have any regrets? Not really, not when what I got in return was beautiful music. But sometimes, it's hard to avoid a pang, wondering what I might be like today if I had had a chance to try some other field."

Musicality that's "taught"

"Lots of people ask me if the music education in the music programs is any good. It's basically pretty solid. Of course it does have its technical flaws and problems with teaching methodology, but those of us who went overseas to study can say with some pride that our technique was second to none.

"But after three years in France, I came to feel that the biggest difference between myself and the French students was that they had grown up breathing an atmosphere drenched in the arts. They had grown up with concerts and exhibitions and gardens and museums. . . . These kinds of cultural things were deeply rooted in their lives. Musicality is an aesthetic sense, and it is connected to all the other arts. Even though the students from Taiwan have a strong musicality, our musicality is always a little stiff and artificial because it has been taught rather than absorbed from the environment.

"After coming back to Taiwan, I found it difficult to find work at first. With just a typical European concertiste certificate rather than an MA or PhD, you face difficulties in Taiwan, where people so emphasize degrees. It's very frustrating. Nonetheless, after a time you work out ways to survive. I now teach at seven or eight schools (everything from primary schools to universities), hurrying from class to class in my car. And I'm proud to say that I accumulated all of this work, bit by bit, all by myself. But Taiwan's market really is saturated. For those who come back later, it just keeps getting more impossible.

"How are today's music program students different? Several other teachers and I all have the same feeling-today's kids, maybe because their parents pamper them or because they're used to being protected, are much more passive about their studies than we were. Of course, if you ask any kid to sit in front of a piano for two hours, they're going to drag their feet and get distracted, but today's kids are even more passive and unwilling to take on challenges. You have to constantly prod them, teachers and parents both. When the school gives them several days off, we're sunk. It really takes an effort of both mind and body to teach them. It's exhausting.

"This music program career has been an even mix of joy and pain. I don't envy those outside the world of music the colors of their world. The music world is a big enough pool for me to swim in. If I could do it over again, I think I'd still choose music."

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Flautist Lin Yi-hui's "music program career" has not yet come to an end-she now teaches at Fuhsing Primary School, her alma mater. In these familiar surroundings, hearing familiar music, the students before her seem almost to be images of her former self. (photo by Diago Chiu)