Wake up, sister!
The modern man's idea of what constitutes a "new good woman" is one who observes traditional virtues at home but is economically productive in the workplace. The problem is: Who can pull that off?
Su Chien-ling, owner of Fembooks, says that most married working women in Taiwan are "two-career women." That is, besides having a full-time job, upon returning home they must play the role of the traditional homemaker.
Su makes an interesting point with regard to the standard of a good woman: The current unequal distribution of labor in society can be illustrated by setting men and women at two extremes on a continuum, with men (who do less) at point zero and women (who do more) at 100, with 50 each being a perfect balance of labor. The man only needs to do a little and he "gets points," whereas if the woman seeks equality then she is considered to "lose points." Men are praised for any change (thus the appearance of the "new good man"), while women are blamed for the same thing (thus no talk of a "new good woman").
Cultural critic Ping Lu suggests another reason why there has been little discussion of the "new woman." For a long time, women have been seen as the "long suffering" side of the gender relationship; they do not have some negative image they need to overturn.
Of course this does not mean that women should not demand that men change. "Males were the beneficiaries of the patriarchal structure, so it would be impossible to expect men to wake up to its inequalities first. Equality between the sexes has to begin with women's consciousness, and women then demand that men change," says Ping Lu.
She says that women do not have to try to be "100% new women" incorporating the expectations of traditional as well as modern society. A real new woman should set her own standards.
In fact, many women would prefer not to be considered "good" if that means bearing too many burdens. Some have deliberately gone in the other direction, and discussion of "bad" women has been increasing. About ten years ago, Shih Chi-ching, director of the Warm Life Association for Women, hoping to encourage abused wives to dare to leave their marriages and to be independent self-confident women, raised the slogan of the "beautiful bad woman." And five years ago, Ho Chun-jui, an associate professor of Anglo-American literature at National Central University, challenged the "good girl" mold by raising high the banner of sexual liberation under the slogan "orgasms, not sexual harassment" (the terms rhyme in Chinese).
Why marriage? Why children?
Ho says that, whereas the new man is getting all the media attention, in fact the sexually liberated woman represents a much more fundamental gender reconstruction.
She says that sexual liberation is beginning to undermine gender attitudes in Taiwan. Traditionally a "good woman" was expected to be "lady-like" in behavior, speech, appearance and skills (especially embroidery). Social expectations were internalized in women as repression and limitation of their own sexual activities. But now women are aware that they should have autonomy over their own bodies.
Examples can be seen in both the public and private spheres. In shops are clothes that show off women's shoulders or midriffs, and young women are increasingly unafraid to display their bodies. In the public sphere, women politicians like Sisy Chen have gotten a lot of attention and even envy for their casual, natural look-like wearing open-toed shoes. Explicitly or implicitly, popular culture has begun to challenge traditional gender viewpoints.
Ho Chun-jui continues: "There are other aspects as well, such as smashing 'the virgin complex,' resisting domestic violence, and gay activism. Everywhere you can see that gender self-awareness doesn't have to be taught, that it is flowing through society. A future in which everyone is conscious of gender issues is not only inevitable, it is to be looked forward to."
There is one interesting point in which Taiwan differs from the West. In the early years of feminism in the West, many women deliberately promoted loosening the bonds of "beauty"-for instance, by removing their bras-and pursuing a gender-neutral look. This has not occurred in Taiwan. Ping Lu says that this is because feminism was already mature by the time it arrived in Taiwan. Taiwan has not experienced any of the step-by-step process of advancement or a backlash from men. Be that as it may, many people still equate the feminist movement with the stereotype of "no make-up, no marriage, no children."
Chuang Hsueh-hua rejects this stereotype: "In fact what we really care most about is: Why make up? Who are we getting married for? Why should we have children? We ask: Facing the major events of human life, do you as a woman have the right to make your own choices? It you decide to wear make-up, it should be because you want to, not because it pleases your male boss. If you choose marriage, it should be because you know that if things don't work out, you are clear-headed enough and have the ability to leave and still be a complete person. If you have children, it should be because you have the maturity to raise and educate the next generation."
Chuang emphasizes that every woman must make the key that unlocks her own life, and opens her own door of hope. A woman cannot sit passively waiting and checking her horoscope or reading the tea leaves, waiting for her future to appear by magic.
To rebel is justified
Currently women in different parts of Taiwan face dissimilar circumstances and levels of resistance.
Chou Fen-tzu, director of Awakening Kaohsiung, states that because of the greater financial pressures of living in urban areas, women have to work more, and this creates a situation in which men cannot but make concessions. Moreover, in cities, interpersonal relations are often fluid and remote, and an untraditional woman is not likely to meet as much outside pressure.
However, on the margins of the city or in the countryside, because interpersonal relations are so close, the conservativeness of couples, in-laws, neighbors, and colleagues creates a dense net. There will be tremendous resistance to any change in a marital relationship. Women in rural areas need to resolve these issues. That is why Awakening Kao-hsiung has constantly worked with local governments to hold seminars or activities on gender topics. One example is the "women's study group," co-sponsored with the Kaohsiung Municipal Government, which is in its sixth session this year. It has gotten an excellent response to its promotion of gender equality. The class being held on January 15 at the Nantzu Youth Welfare Services Center was the last one of the most recent session.
Tables in the lecture hall are arranged in a semi-circle. The students have prepared snacks and placed them on the tables for all to share. Because this is the last class, everyone is anxious to talk about what they've gotten out of the course.
"My husband thinks that I'm coming every week to some 'mama's class' like cooking or flower arranging. If he knew I was coming to this place to 'rebel,' he would go nuts," says Mrs. Lin, who can't hold back a smile, adding that she will still come to the next session.
Chou Fen-tzu, who participated in the course design, says that attendance at class definitely plants the seed of self-awareness in those who come, but it is just a seed. She frankly admits that the woman must put in a great deal of effort to face up to the tests of interaction with her husband and various other problems after this seed sprouts and blooms.
Su Chien-ling states that even she herself as a practitioner of feminism-much less women who have just had an initial sprouting of self-awareness-faces a continuous series of challenges in life, such as family responsibilities, and children's education.
She wrote a book called My Maternal Duties in which she notes that the greatest gap between the feminist ideal and reality is the fear that most career women have about "not being model mothers." Her solution has been to rethink the terms of the problem: Why does "not model" have to mean "selfish"? Why is it that if a woman wishes to loosen the restraints of her maternal duties, then her children must automatically be "abandoned"? Are there no other possibilities?
Her thinking runs along these lines: When children still cannot fend for themselves, it is absolutely the responsibility of adults to care for them. But "adults" does not mean only the mother, but can also include the father, relatives, and friends. Most importantly, it may include social resources, such as better neighborhood planning or child day-care centers.
Therefore, she feels that there is no harm at this stage in mothers investing 50% of their energy in the children, 30% in educating the father to do his share, and the other 20% in supporting women's organizations in their proposals for day-care and other services in the workplace and community. As the children get bigger, the mother should allow them to take care of themselves. This will save the mother from exhaustion with the added bonus of teaching the children to be more independent. One day when the children say to you, "don't help me, I can do it myself," then you'll know what it means to say "it was worth it."
Su says that of course implementation is always very difficult. But in any case rational thinking should replace complaining; this is the best psychological "vitamin."
Future trends in the lives of women
Recently the international women's magazine Elle published the results of a survey conducted last May and June in 30 countries on global trends in women's lives. The expectations that young single working women in Taiwan have for themselves are already very different from the past. Most of the 3,600 respondents from Taiwan were young single women with middle- to high-level jobs. Asked to list their most important concerns, 45% said work, followed by "themselves" (31%), children (14%), and love (10%). Women in Taiwan showed less concerned about love than women in other countries. Also, 54% said that they were unwilling to sacrifice for their partner, while 72% said that they felt divorce was the best solution for problem marriages.
As Ping Lu says, Taiwan is at the intersection of old and new value systems: The old traditions have not yet completely disappeared, but the new trends have become clear. Movement toward equality between the sexes is inevitable. Men cannot always stay at point zero, and women cannot always stay at 100. The new woman is beginning to dare to put herself first, and to receive a less-than-perfect grade.