Old Ma's got nothing on God:
Some people just cannot accept it when they see that their child is not like them, and try to change the child. Take Chen Ai-chia, who spent a lot of energy on trying to correct her daughter's pronunciation. Huang Lun-fen also repeatedly attempted to let her son try out what she considered to be more healthy food. However, most people's reactions are not as strong as those of the ancients, who scolded the child for not being like his parents. One university professor on seeing his daughter who had just begun going to a Catholic kindergarten say grace before every meal, humorously told her: "You do not have to thank God for giving you food to eat. Just thanking your old father and mother would be enough!"
Although things have come to this, in comparison with the ancients, modern people do not care so much about whether their children are like themselves or not. "One aspect of this arises from the wind of democracy. What children want to do in future they can do; it is up to them to make the decisions. Then there is also the influence of individualism: "The achievements of the individual are more important than whatever you might be given by your family background. With the education of the younger generation being generally higher than their predecessors, these ideas are getting weaker and weaker," says Huang Chun-chieh.
There are also some people who, from another angle, look at their children and see the good points that they themselves lack. Take Huang Mei-hua, who gave her daughter to a nanny to bring up. She often feels that the girl has a straightforward personality with a big-sisterly style that is very similar to that of the nanny. "Later on she will have more affinity with people than I do," says Huang Mei-hua.
As for those "weekend parents" whose children only return to the home when they are old enough for school, there will be endless conflicts if they can find no way to accept that their children are just going to be incompatible with the parents in many ways, thinks Ko Hua-wei of the psychology department of National Chung Cheng University. The trend of working wives is an unstoppable one, but you should definitely not give your child to others for 24 hours at a time.
"As a parent you should not blame your child for being so unlike yourself, but you should know what habits he has taken on from being raised by another person. Begin by accepting him and wait until you identify with each other, then it will be easy to reshape him," she says. "To put it bluntly, when you should have been influencing the child you were not by his side. He is thus like a child you have adopted, not originally like you!"
No hsiao is commonplace:
Nevertheless, looking at it from another aspect, this generation of 30 to 40 year olds have all been brought up by their own parents. But whereas the older generation ate cucumbers in soy sauce, this generation has enjoyed the influence of the knowledge of nutrition, and the advocation of natural and healthy eating. So are they not also rather unlike their parents!
No matter what the society of the future is like, at least there is one thing that we can be certain of--to be said to be "without hsiao" will never again be a rebuke.
[Picture Caption]
p.34
"The dragon breeds a dragon, the phoenix a phoenix, and the rat's son can dig a hole." It is as though father and son are from the same mold. Apart from heredity, later identification is also very important. (photo by Chen Shu-ying)
p.35
So that children would follow in the footsteps of father and continue in his trade, Chinese people in the past were always concerned that their offspring should be like themselves. But this is happening less and less . (photo by Huang Li-li)
p.36
Listed among the Eight Great Artists of the Tang and Sung dynasties, the brothers Su Shih (Su Tung-po) and Su Che with their father Su Hsun are shown simultaneously graduating in the civil service exams. Such is the epitome of the Chinese family.
p.37
The prescripts expressed in the inscriptions in the ancestral hall give younger generations moral guidance on how to uphold the family style and traditions. (photo by Cheng Yuan-ching).
p.38
In the southern countryside there are many "Grandma's children" who belong to office workers in Taipei. (photo by Vincent Chang)
p.38
Filipino maids moving into homes and living with children from dawn till dusk results in many children ending up with a Philippine accent to their Mandarin. (photo by Huang Li-li)
p.39
With society changing too fast, perhaps later on everybody will be an "unlikely child." (photo by Pu Hua-chih)