Now there is a new choice. In their peregrinations around cyberspace, some Internet users have seen love blossom.
"I'm getting engaged and my PC was the matchmaker." In August this year a message was posted on a bulletin board on National Taiwan University's Campus Information web-site from an air hostess with the on-line name "Flies Everyday," thanking a friend for posting an advertisement and happily telling all that she had already accepted a beautiful sapphire engagement ring from the man she met as a result, proving that "happiness is not so far away."
This is not the first time that people have been brought together through "the Net" in Taiwan. The first verifiable case was that of Mr. Chou Chun-ting, a graduate of NTU's Geology Department, and Miss Chen Ming-chun who, after going through the "three phases of chatting on the BBS, talking on the phone and the dating game," are already married with their first child.
Looking for romance on the Net
Making friends on-line has already become one of the most popular after-class pastimes in Taiwan's colleges and universities, which are well endowed with computer networks.
The University Post published by the Department of Journalism of National Chengchi University carried out a survey of the views of Taiwan's university students regarding making friends on-line and found that 64% of the 700 students surveyed had friends and 62% of these people had actually met their on-line friends.
With BBS user clubs increasing in number and an increasing number of students using the BBS to make friends of the opposite sex, NTU's Campus Information site established clubs for users which classify them by height, zodiac sign and blood group.
Making friends on the computer network commonly begins with on-line chat. People without this experience probably find it difficult to appreciate what exactly the attraction of sitting in front of a machine and communicating with a faceless stranger is.
People who chat on-line have different reasons-there are people killing time, people making friends, people looking for friends of the opposite sex, people looking for sexual partners, people getting things off their chest, newcomers, people practicing their Chinese typing, etc.
Miss Chung Huei-chun, who graduated from the Oriental Institute of Technology last summer is the time-killing type. She says that because the institute is situated in the suburbs there wasn't much to do in the free time between classes and playing on the BBS offered a chance to kill some time. "We would always chat about pretty meaningless things, like jokes told by the teacher in class, nothing really memorable," she says. However, she acknowledges that the Internet helped her expand her circle of friends and through it she also met her boyfriend, who is a graduate of Hsinchu's National Chiaotung University.
Calling Muragami Haruki
Students represent the majority of regular Net users. The Net is, however, boundary-less and not only students can access the campus web-sites. Meeting a friend in the vast expanse of cyberspace depends on a little luck and effort.
Advertisement creator Hsiao Fen (pseudonym) said that when she installed a new PC in her home she arranged to call up a friend to check the PC's calling function but that evening she had trouble accessing the BBS. At 2 am the next morning her friend had had enough and went to bed while she continued playing alone.
She decided to call the name "South of the Border, West of the Sun." Being unfamiliar with communication by PC she comforted herself with the thought that she at least had an excuse to contact this particular user "because I'd read this book by Muragami Haruki and I thought at least we should have something to talk about."
The first chat didn't go well. The early hours of the morning are the peak time for BBS use and the messages traveled at a snail's pace. They decided that leaving contact details and giving up for the day was the best approach. Then they began to contact each other to chat on-line and then on the telephone as well. The first call lasted from midnight to the following morning. "I could hear birds singing on the other end of the line and knew we were both tired, but neither of us wanted to finish and have the guilt of having abandoned the other," she says.
As if this was not enough, they then arranged to meet for breakfast and saw each other's tired and slightly disheveled state after a sleepless night on the phone. Today the two are good friends and even discuss the merits of the participants in the TV dating program "Special Men and Women."
How can the faceless person sitting in front of a PC screen attract attention amidst the numerous other on-line names that can be chosen by a user? The key is to use a creative or special on-line name.
"Use a name like 'Reunification Through the Three Principles of the People' and it is pretty certain that no-one will get in touch," jokes Hsiao Fen. However, if a very feminine name is used then people will rush to get in touch. Most network users are men and any female user will find that there are many men eager to make friends with her.
The experience of many network users is that "an on-line name can't be chosen too casually." Any name, such as "The Little Prince's Rose," "Non-saintly Cicero," or the names of characters from history, novels or cartoon books can be used.
Singles club
Some people talk and talk to their on-line friend till they become bosom friends. Some are clearly looking to find a partner for themselves, their elder sister, brother or friends.
"25 years of age. Single. No kids. 184 cm tall. 71 kg. Extrovert. Amiable. A bit stupid, but not too much. Quite handsome. Sincere people only, please."
This standard "marriage ad" will not have much appeal to other users. The manager of the "Friends" board of the NTU Campus Information site believes that "there will probably be no replies to this because there is no way of acquiring a concrete idea of his appearance and he also does nothing to persuade people he has any substance inside." Also, "sincere callers only" shouldn't be used casually because, first of all, people have to be sincere themselves.
What kind of self-introduction can catch the eye? The bulletin board manager described what he regards as a model personal ad from "A girl like me."
"Since graduating from the Department of Finance at a university my social circle has become ever smaller. I do my best to stave off boredom in my monotonous life. Going on-line at home and browsing in book shops gives me some comfort. My spending on beauty products over the years has been much less than that on books and computers. Rather than describing myself as frugal it is better to say that my face saves me money. I am not a blind feminist but I also do not want to be seen as an object. If you regard this as an advertisement for a husband I hope that you have a nice voice and have a pleasant appearance. By the way, I am 170 cm tall and live in Taipei County."
Privately operated web-sites are playing the match-maker role even more actively than campus bulletin boards. Through the Net the user can contact people all over the world.
Taiwan Love Match, which is said to be the biggest dating site in Taiwan, has over 80,000 members. Eighty-two percent of these are working people, and the age of members is concentrated in the 20-35 year age range. According to the personal details (like age, height and job) inputted by the user, the computer will give the files of suitable partners, then send an e-mail which begins the on-line relationship.
SinaNet, which has sites in the US and Taiwan and specializes in serving Chinese-American people, opened up a Club Yuan in September especially to bring together single Chinese engineers in Silicon Valley and Taiwanese women. In less than three months it has attracted over 6000 members, showing that there is a substantial demand for its service.
Distance no barrier to love
Forty-year-old Mike Yang stayed on in the US after finishing his studies and has now lived there for many years. Two years ago he returned to Taiwan to work in network multi-media design. He accepted the introductions arranged by family and friends but this traditional way of meeting a partner takes time and was not really suitable for a person like him who is "regularly engrossed in computers for 12 hours per day."
Last year he began to meet people of the opposite sex on-line. Firstly, he found several popular sites for making friends through the Yam Web Navigator and, after careful thought, he chose to contact a 32-year old female teacher. However, after a month of communication by e-mail, phone calls and actually meeting, the relationship didn't take off.
"Death at first sight" was a problem that was common when meeting pen pals in the past and the problem is also common when meeting on-line friends today. Mike Yang thinks that "so-called 'death at first sight' is not caused by a lack of physical attraction, but happens because the feeling is not right." He compares making friends on-line to fishing. There are two approaches to fishing, one involves keeping any type of fish caught-"Who knows, you may catch a mermaid!" The second approach involves releasing the fish that you don't like.
At the end of last year Yang's aunt gave him the e-mail address of a school friend's daughter and encouraged him to make an effort to get to know the woman, who was in Australia studying. He initially felt that nothing could come from a relationship between two people so far apart, but out of politeness, he sent an e-mail. After five months of corresponding through at least two e-mails per day they both felt that they were well suited.
At the end of April he flew to Australia and after three weeks spent with the woman they became engaged. After getting married, he returned to Silicon Valley and today he is in California, while his wife is still in Australia. They now use e-mail more than ever. When his wife graduates she will join him in the US.
"There are many people who can become a friend but only one will become your spouse," he says. Although destiny has a hand, without the Internet how would he have ever met the woman who would become his wife, who was in a far corner of the globe?
International bridge to love
The Net is a useful tool for the single professional engineer; for women who are of marriageable age but who are regarded by society as "old maids" or as "unmarried hazards" the Net can provide a chance to "meet" people that they would be unlikely to find elsewhere.
Callas works in a newspaper office and is 34 years of age. Last year she put up an ad looking for friends on a US singles web-site. In six months she had responses from 360 people of 19 different nationalities and sent and received a total of 3150 e-mails. Today she is in regular contact with two friends. She turned her experiences of making friends on the Net into a book-Finding Love On-line.
"Looking for friends on-line made me realize that, even if my chances in the Taiwan marriage market are shrinking, internationally I have no shortage of interested people," she says.
Last year in Cupid, the world's largest introduction site, she saw an advertisement from a man called Charlie, manager of the international product department of a large company who described himself as "young enough to share the rest of my life with someone." She had a feeling that this was her Mr. Right and began to "date" on-line.
Every time one of her on-line friends has a chance to visit Taiwan, or she goes overseas, she will arrange to meet them. Once her New Jersey friend, Chuck, waited vainly for 10 hours in a hotel lobby, rose in hand, when they had a misunderstanding regarding meeting arrangements There was even an occasion when two on-line friends visited Taiwan at the same time and she had to flit between them like a butterfly.
Private space, public area
There are also people that think that dating on-line is ridiculous, who wonder how real feelings can be developed for someone by sending typed messages to a name, the user of which may be on the other side of the world.
"People who have done it will probably admit that reducing visual contact makes it easier to talk from the heart," says Callas.
Chao Ya-li, professor in the Mass Communications Department at Tamkang University, says that, when the normal factors in interaction between people are "filtered out," like sound, expressions, body language and social setting, and text can be easily edited and re-organized, communication via a PC can easily become too personal or aggressive.
Interaction between people often begins because of attraction based on physique and appearance, and trust develops later. Only then will people talk about their innermost thoughts. However, "the order of PC communication is often reversed," says Chao, with some users opening up their hearts to people they don't actually know very well. The reason for this is that because they don't know the other party they have no inhibitions; users also feel that the PC is their own private space.
The fact that the network cannot guarantee privacy is a major problem.
An incident occurred overseas where a jilted boyfriend posted his old girlfriend's personal details on a pornographic web-site, resulting in her becoming the target of numerous calls from people interested in buying sex. A university in Taiwan has also seen an incident where a male student used the PC to fix an image of his girlfriend's head onto a naked female body and send it all around the campus.
The Taiwan Love Match web-site advises people that they shouldn't give out their personal details without careful thought.
On-line love has its pitfalls too
Of course sometimes there are love-cheats on-line. There are cases when the men pretend to be women, or where old men re-invent themselves as vigorous youths. There are pitfalls that users should be aware of when looking for love on-line.
Communication on-line is mainly through text. Carelessly pressing the wrong button can send something that the user didn't actually want to send and it can't be called back. A question can also sometimes result in a misunderstanding.
Callas likes to watch thrillers and she once asked her friend in San Francisco if she had seen Copycat, which is set in the city. This question accidentally upset the friend who responded by assuring her that San Francisco was a beautiful city and that not all white people are killers.
In the film the female lead says at the start that in 90% of major homicides the killer is a normal-looking white person. "Although I apologized for the misunderstanding I think he has held it against me ever since," she says.
She thinks that the self we describe on our screens is only a part of the real self. It is necessary to communicate for a long period of time or through numerous e-mails to "see a person's various different faces."
A reader named Hsiao Lan sent a letter to a newspaper telling how her two on-line romances had ended. "Although we developed a feeling of familiarity, a year on, all I can do to express how I feel is quote a line from a popular song-'How did you come and go so easily?'" The second on-line relationship ended when both parties found that their personalities and interests were incompatible and Hsiao Lan finished the relationship. "I didn't have to cut off my hands to lose the BBS habit. After all, love on line was always just a dream."
Looking for human comfort
The lack of clarity regarding whether the Internet is a public or private space means that there is a definite difference between communication via PC and face-to-face communication.
When the PC becomes a basic accessory in every school, home and office, will on-line communication replace face-to-face human interaction?
Chen Cheng-jan, director of the Frontier Foundation and designer of the Yam Web Navigator, says that "It is too early to say that the Net is creating a new form of human interaction."
After in-depth interviews with 18 network users, Chao Ya-li, professor in the Department of Mass Communications at Tamkang University, came to the conclusion that people look for friends on-line "to satisfy the need for human contact." Science students, for example, sometimes have to spend long hours in the lab waiting for the results of experiments to appear and in the early hours of the morning "the network gives access to people who are still wide awake and will provide human contact."
Making friends on-line is just a substitute means of interaction to replace meeting face-to-face or talking by phone or other means of interaction. She says that because the user only wants to widen their circle of different-sex acquaintances, when this is achieved they will often reduce the frequency that they go on-line.
In the process of developing friendships it is likely that a meeting will take place, and relationships between people always require that a process of familiarization occurs. "No matter what channel is used to meet, all love is the same and has to eventually meet reality," says advertisement creator Hsiao Fen. Meeting through the Internet does not make a relationship especially strong or fragile, and it still needs to be carefully nurtured.
Looking for love on-line
Computer network users in Taiwan have many things in common which makes it easier to make friends with people on-line. The book Cracking describes a future trend that will see people cocooned in the home and happily working, shopping, and making friends from their homes through the Internet.
The author believes that the 100,000 new Internet users each month are attracted by the chance to chat on-line and send e-mails and that the Internet is revolutionizing the way we communicate with people.
This idea also finds some support in Taiwan. "The appearance of letters and the invention of the telephone all had a great impact on the way male-female relations develop. How can an epochal communication tool like the Internet not have a role?" says Chan Hung-chih, who is widely regarded as one of the stars of the Taiwan publishing business, reviewing the book Finding Love On-line.
He firmly believes that Callas tells us just how male-female on-line relationships really are and also reminds us that a healthy approach to take is to think that everyone has the right to pursue their own happiness. "However, 'pursue' is a verb and people need to act, not just wait for fate to find a partner for them," he says.
Is it curiosity and loneliness that attracts so many people on-line? Those people fixed to their seats in front of a PC screen, scanning the addresses, may, if they are lucky, find love on-line.
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"On the Net no one knows if you are a dog" is a famous line said by MS boss Bill Gates. The Net overcomes limitations imposed by space, and personal attributes like imagination and sense of humor can be given free rein.
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People are still most interested in people and dating sites have quickly become some of the most popular sites on the Net. Taiwan Love Match, Taiwan's largest dating site, already has around 80,000 members; SinaNet which specializes in serving Chinese-Americans has made a success out of introducing highly educated single Chinese engineers to Taiwanese women.
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Why do so many people use the Net? Some people say the Net is popular because it offers a chance to build your own castle in a small space. The picture shows the members of a family all getting what they want on-line.
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Taiwan's university and college campus BBS networks have bulletin boards with users' clubs classified according to height and zodiac sign. Users' clubs are like social clubs and on holidays attract people keen to have fun and get to know other users.
p.118
Space and race are no barrier, but can love on-line really replace the relaxing pleasure of afternoon tea with a loved one? What pitfalls and restrictions does love on-line have? (Photo by Cheng Yuen-ching)
p.120
Love on-line depends on creatively using words to make a good impression.
A couple looks forward to their future happiness. (photo by Diago Chiu)
Why do so many people use the Net? Some people say the Net is popular because it offers a chance to build your own castle in a small space. The picture shows the members of a family all getting what they want on line.
Taiwan's university and college campus BBS networks have bulletin boards with users' clubs classified according to height and zodiac sign. Users' clubs are like social clubs and on holidays attract people keen to have fun and get to know other users.
Space and race are no barrier, but can love on-line really replace the r elaxing pleasure of afternoon tea with a loved one? What pitfalls and restrictions does love on-line have? （Photo by Cheng Yuen-ching）
Love on-line depends on creatively using words to make a good impression . A couple looks forward to their future happiness. （photo by Diago Chiu）
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