Bar None An Introduction to Jerry Lai

"I feel like a mother hen, and do all I can to protect this 'nest' for my comrades. . . . It's just by chance that I am here today as a spokesperson. I have the capability, so I have the responsibility to do all that I can. But I can't tell you how much I hope that one day there will be no need for anyone do this sort of thing."-Jerry Lai

Jerry Lai runs the "Funky" gay bar in Taipei. A worldwide guide which provides special information for gay travelers gave it three exclamation points, its highest rating. For Taipei gay people, this is the place to be on weekends. But this is not an ordinary gay bar. In the homosexual movement which has burgeoned over the past few years, it has played an important role in terms of education, communication, financial support, and rest & recreation.

One of the very few

Those who know Lai all call him "Elder Brother." When they speak of him, it is with particular respect.

"Maybe it's because of he's 'the center of attention' that people give him so much respect!" quips Hsiao Kuang, a gay male.

Lai says it is just a coincidence that he began running a bar, and he had no special ideas about how to run one. It's just that he and his gay friends often lamented the lack of places for homosexuals to go in Taiwan to hang out. Moreover, keeping a gay bar afloat has never been easy, and it seemed that as soon as they became familiar with a place, it would close down. Thus Lai decided to provide one himself.

In fact, though a large number of the customers are gay, the bar is not aimed at any particular clientele. Anyone can come regardless of their identity. The only exception is that Lai doesn't want people to come to "gawk" with the same mindset they would have if they were visiting a zoo. That is why he is like a mother hen, protecting his "comrades" from having their identities exposed. If anyone tries to take pictures or is disrespectful in word or deed, Lai "asks" them to leave-and isn't especially polite about it.

A devoted man

Before "coming out of the closet," Lai was in a heterosexual marriage.

"Perhaps because society was so conservative back then and I had always been taught that 'homosexuality is a sin,' when I got to marrying age, I naturally chose a heterosexual marriage," explains Lai. "But I gradually discovered that I was not suited to heterosexual marriage. If I didn't take cognizance of my homosexual orientation, and continued in the marriage, it would not have been fair to my wife or family. I had to be honest with myself and my family, so my former wife and I agreed to a divorce."

After the divorce, Lai got together with his current partner; they have been together 15 years now. Though they have had arguments and walk-outs, they understand and value each other.

"Though gay relationships do not have the guarantees of formal marriages, and thus appear more fragile-and many people even have the wrong idea that gays are very promiscuous-through bad times and good, my lover and I have built up a common foundation of love. It is hard to find someone who really understands you in life, so we really treasure one another."

Many people still have suspicions about homosexuals, suspicions linked to AIDS. Lai does volunteer work in AIDS prevention. He not only distributes information and gives out condoms in the bar, he also aims to clarify misunderstandings many people have about the connection between homosexuality and AIDS.

"AIDS prevention is very important. In the past, many people used AIDS to sully the reputation of homosexuals. But now the statistics speak clearly: The number of heterosexual AIDS victims in Taiwan is higher than the number of homosexual victims. AIDS prevention is a task that everyone should be involved in."

Not just a bar

Taipei now has more than a dozen gay bars, though most are poorly run. But Funky is well-organized, and even turns a small profit. Nevertheless, Lai is not satisfied with that alone. He has always wanted the bar to be more than just a place where gays can hang out.

"Right from the start, I asked myself: How can I make the bar multi-functional? I began to invite experts and scholars to lecture, and I sponsored support groups. After the bar became a station for gay information exchange, some college groups began coming to ask for assistance."

Lai continues: "University gay organizations play an important role in the gay rights movement. However, students graduate and leave, and there are difficulties maintaining communications between schools. In order to achieve vertical continuity of experience, and horizontal integration and mutual support, it is critical to have regular activities for campus homosexual groups to exchange ideas."

Since "a good man never does anything halfway," Lai personally visited or contacted all the gay bars in Taiwan to ask them to support these students.

Because he is widely respected in the gay community, many young people turn to Lai when they feel troubled.

"Maybe it's someone who is unsure of his sexual identity and has run away from home because of pressures there. Or maybe it's someone who has just argued with his lover and broken up with him. They come to the bar to drown their sorrows. Perhaps because they know I am gay, they trust me more, and they pour out their troubles to me. First I just try to cheer them up, and later I find specialists for them to turn to for help."

"The problems young people face today are different. They are more straightforward and bold about expressing their opinions. But I often remind them: At the same time that you demand other people treat you with equal respect, you must show understanding and respect for others."

As for prejudice and enmity, Lai feels-optimistically-that these are the result of the lack of understanding among people, and not of deliberate intent to look down on others.

It is hard enough to run any bar in Taipei, much less a gay bar. Lai frequently comes into contact with law enforcement officials. What he has found is surprisingly positive.

"Our police and government officials are very open-minded and friendly. Former Taipei mayor Huang Ta-chou, current Taipei City Bureau of Social Affairs director Chen Chu, and legislator Yeh Chu-lan have all accepted invitations to come here. I wanted to let them see first-hand that gay people are no different from anyone else, and are generally upbeat and have much to offer. Their responses were very friendly, and very full of concern. They asked me what help we needed, but I told them we do not want any help. Gays do not want any special treatment, we just hope not to be discriminated against."

Lai's hope should be that of all people.

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Jerry Lai's bar serves many functions for the gay community-as a center for social interaction, information, education and AIDS prevention. Lai is the respected "Elder Brother" for gays in Taipei. (photo by Diago Chiu)