"In the past we found excuses to go and take drugs; now let's find a reason to come off drugs." The Government Information Office asked Tsai Chen-nan to appear in an anti-drug film to make an empathetic appeal to people who are still hooked.

"Only someone who's had a needle stuck in them knows how it hurts," he says. How can someone who's never taken drugs understand the suffering of an addict?

People in the entertainment business have put on anti-drug charity events in the past, but Tsai Chennan says it takes more than a slogan from a singing star to persuade someone to come off drugs, and a hand gesture from a popular idol won't make drugs say "no" to you--referring to a gesture of pushing the hand away from the body to symbolize saying "no" to drugs, used in anti-drug ads featuring various stars. "Addicts aren't interested in idols, they're just interested in where their next fix is coming from," says Tsai Chen-nan bluntly.

Only those who've been there know the pain

But he firmly believes that the path he has trodden can provide lessons for others. This was demonstrated while he was undergoing treatment at Taipei City Psychiatric Center.

When Tsai went on an eight-week drug rehabilitation course provided by the Taipei City government, he actually succeeded in breaking his addiction in the first week. But he still had to keep going back to the Center for urine tests. During those visits he and the other patients received psychological treatment, including lectures from doctors on the dangers of drug abuse.

In the fourth week, he plucked up the courage to go and see one of the doctors, and told him: "To be honest, all your talking is a waste of time. Just look, the patients spend so long listening to you, but they don't change any." He suggested that firstly the doctors should not wear white coats all the time and act like teachers addressing schoolchildren; this immediately gives the patients a sense of inferiority. Secondly, they shouldn't constantly harp on about the bad aspects of substance abuse, for this turns the patients off as soon as they hear it.

Tsai Chen-nan says that when many drug users go to the Center they want to get a certificate to show that they have come off drugs, because they have heard that this piece of paper can get their sentences reduced or even keep them out of prison altogether. But in fact the certificate has no legal force. Patients constantly badger the doctors for them, but the doctors can't bring themselves to tell the patients the truth, for fear that if they do the patients will all give up trying to come off drugs.

Of his own accord, Tsai Chen-nan volunteered: "I'll tell them for you!" He said to other users undergoing treatment, "Today when we elect legislators they have to have certain qualifications like education, money, contacts and so on. Who knows, perhaps in the future that certificate can become part of your qualifications, and perhaps combined with such things as sincerity, determination and support from your friends, maybe it can help you get elected--who knows?"

He also said, "We're all here to come off drugs because we're afraid of going to prison, but actually we all know very well that doing drugs will kill you, so if we're not afraid to die, why be scared of being locked up?" When addicts hear this, they feel it makes a lot of sense.

Doing drugs won't make you happy

Tsai Chen-nan says there's always a reason for somebody getting into drugs. In many cases, like his own, it has to do with disappointments in their careers or emotional lives. It is important to keep a careful eye on young people, because they are often enticed into drug-taking by their peers.

Drug users tend to become very unsociable and eccentric, because most users take their fixes lying down. "You sigh lying down, and you weep lying down." You can't get up and have no energy to do anything. And taking drugs won't make you feel happy and carefree the way people try to tell you it will. For instance, after taking heroin you just feel sleepy. When you first start taking it you don't feel anything bad, so you think there's nothing wrong with taking drugs, but in fact you're already hooked.

When you're addicted, if you don't get your fix you break out in cold sweats and feel terribly cold. Your hands and feet go numb with cold, and whether it's winter or summer the thickest quilt won't keep you warm. If you see someone sitting hunched up in a ball, most likely they're in withdrawal.

Tsai Chen-nan believes that in fact it's very easy to tell whether people around you are taking drugs. For instance, they always hang around with the same few people, they have a strange look in their eyes, and because they are sensitive, suspicious and always worried that they are being followed, they generally don't speak much with other people, and are afraid to look them in the face. Drug addicts can never sit quietly in one place: after 10 or 20 minutes they will get up and go out, sometimes saying they are going to the toilet or some such excuse, because they need another fix.

Heroin users are even easier to spot. The cigarette ends they leave in ashtrays are usually very short and smoked right down to the filter, and the paper of the cigarettes they smoke is often crumpled and stained wet. "Drug users always want other people to take drugs with them, for only then will they get a good supply," says Tsai Chen-nan. Thus if someone offers you a cigarette in a public place you should be careful, for if it has any of the tell-tale signs described above, it is drugs, not tobacco.

Patience, support and confidence

There are no tricks to coming off drugs; the only way is to rely on oneself. Tsai Chen-nan believes that none of the technology, medicines or teaching materials currently available are of any use to addicts. Addiction is a fatal disease, and willpower is the only way to break free from it.

This makes it very important for the addict to have someone to support him, wait for him and build up his confidence. This supporter has to keep telling the addict, "I believe you can quit drugs, and I'll wait for you." The addict must also "find a way to let them get close." According to Tsai Chen-nan, it doesn't take many people--one caring person is enough.

Quoting himself as an example, Tsai Chen-nan says that if film directors Hou Hsiao-hsien and Wu Nien-chen had not waited for him and built his confidence over a long period of time, if they had not "made me feel that if I didn't change I would let them down, make them a laughing stock and make myself feel worthless," he would not have been able to quit. "Coming off drugs is even harder for the people around you; they need more determination than the addict," he says.

As of now, Tsai Chen-nan's sentence has been set and unless he gets parole he will have to serve at least three years and two months. He accepts this judgement. But after turning his back on drugs, what kind of person will he become? What kind of work will he produce? We all look forward to finding out.

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Though he is composed as he explains how he kicked the drug habit, Tsai still looks a little unsettled under the photographer's lights.(photo by Lin Meng-san)