Because I was born and raised in the US, I never lived with my nana. However, every summer vacation since I was little, I would go back to Taiwan for two or three weeks. Even though our time together was never long, I always knew we loved each other deeply, and I could feel how much my grandmother loved me and my two older sisters.
When I returned to Taiwan, my mom, dad, sisters and I stayed in my mom's childhood home in the Shuanglien section of Taipei. Nana still took care of the house, and she loved to spend time there. Every time before the family arrived in Taiwan, Nana always got the house ready for us. She swept and cleaned, prepared places for us to sleep, aired out the blankets, and fluffed the pillows. Every summer we would discover that the furniture had been moved around, and she did it all by herself-she was amazing!
Almost every day, Nana would make two meals for us. I think my nana was the world's greatest cook. She even washed the clothes for all five of us. When she was doing the laundry, she would scrub until everything was as bright and fresh as new.
When I went back to Taiwan in the summer of my seventh year, Nana said something that made me cry-she told me I was really too skinny. Her words made me feel terrible, and I ran into the bathroom and cried. Of course at that time I didn't understand that it was because my grandma was worried about my health. In any case, from that year on, I started eating more, because I was worried that Nana would say I was too skinny the next time she saw me. In high school, however, when I began to understand Nana's true motivations for saying what she did, I started to eat more for a different reason, namely that I didn't want my grandma to worry about me. Afterwards, I would always try my best to eat a little more and put on some weight, especially before I would return to Taiwan.
In September 1998, when I was a freshman in college, I started taking Japanese classes. Some people asked me why Japanese. The reason I wanted to improve my Japanese was so that I could better relate to my grandparents. Because they both spoke Japanese, I wanted to speak it too. When my grandfather passed away in December 1999, during my sophomore year, I couldn't bear to continue my Japanese studies because I had lost part of my reason for studying. For a while my motivation was just gone. Only after a year did I start studying Japanese again.
In order to graduate from college in four years, I spent the summer vacations of my sophomore and junior years in the States taking summer classes. In other words, from September 1999 to June 2002, I did not have any significant breaks with the exception of three weeks for winter vacation. I did not want to take it easy at school and draw out the process, but rather I wanted to make the best of this opportunity to study. In college, I even passed up an opportunity to go to Japan to study and the chance of taking a job that I not only would have liked but also had a great future. Why did I pass up these chances? Well, it was because the classes I took, the activities that I participated in, and the jobs that I took were not only for my own future but also so that I could find the fastest way to graduate in four years. The reason was that I planned to go back to Taiwan for at least a year after I graduated to be with my nana.
In 2000 when I came to Taiwan during the winter break, my grandma's health had already started to deteriorate. After graduation, I again came to stay with Nana in Taiwan; during this period time passed so happily every day. I went with my mom and my nana to lots of places, including the zoo in Mucha. I knew Nana liked penguins, so I wanted to take her to the zoo to see them. We took the subway from Shuanglien to the Mucha Zoo, but Nana didn't like riding the subway. She preferred taking the bus, so on the way back we spent more than 90 minutes riding the bus home. When I was sitting on the bus, I began to realize that Nana didn't think much of the quick pace of modern living. Like Nana, I too enjoyed sitting on the bus watching the scenery through the window and thinking.
I know that Taiwanese people are not in the habit of telling other people how they feel and that they also do not praise people directly. Nana would tell me about my sisters' good qualities, and I have heard my sister say that Nana would also praise me when I wasn't there. Of course my nana would not directly praise us-that was just the way she was. But when I was in Taiwan during the winter vacation of my senior year, I heard with my own ears Nana saying to someone else that I was quite remarkable.
To stay in Taiwan for at least a year with my grandma, I came back in September of last year. At the end of September, some pastors and their wives came to visit Nana. While they were talking about me staying in Taiwan with Nana, I could see my grandma smiling. At that moment, I knew that Nana was really happy that I came back to Taiwan.
Perhaps some people might still wonder how, after living in the US for so long and not speaking to my grandmother very often, and not speaking Taiwanese or Japanese very well, I could still feel so close to my grandma. I myself feel that love is boundless, restricted neither by distance nor language. After my grandma passed away, every time I went past Shuanglien while riding on the subway my tears would start flowing-in fact, not just on the subway, but every time I would think of Nana no matter where I was. But if Nana could see me living in Taipei today, I think she would be happy to see me saving money by riding on the bus, happy to see me moving furniture by myself just like she did, and studying Chinese diligently. I will keep studying the two languages Nana spoke, Japanese and Taiwanese, and learn to make the dishes that she cooked.
I would like to say to my grandma: Nana, don't worry. I can take care of myself. When I go out, I take my coat, even when I am taking a flight. I will always remember how you and Grandpa could put on a good face even during the hardest times. Nana, I am so grateful for all that yoau did for me. If you did not know how much I loved you before, you should know now! I love you, Nana.
Nana's first subway ride came when my Mom and I took her on a trip to the Taipei suburb of Hsintien.
@List.jpg?w=522&h=410&mode=crop&format=webp&quality=80)