The Chang family is a big one-three generations with six people, two dogs, three birds, five pet mice, pet shrimp and pet fish.

When the aunts and uncles all bring over their children to have dinner every Sunday the house is a lively scene indeed.

Mrs. Chang's husband is the older sibling, and when they first got married the two older brothers and their wives lived with their parents. But petty differences with the mother-in-law led to arguments and eventually the brothers and their wives moved out.

But evidently after this relations between the mother-in-law and the daughters-in-law improved. Mrs. Chang admits that both she and her mother-in-law have strong personalities and are not particularly well suited to living together for any length of time. She discussed this with her husband and they made preparations by buying a place to move into in the future.

But who could have guessed that before the house was built their son would fall ill and have to undergo an expensive open-heart operation. They were reluctantly forced to sell, thus putting off their plans to move. Mrs. Chang's relationship with her mother-in-law did not improve, and about the time her son entered first grade she again had the idea of moving.

Mrs. Chang and her husband told the grandfather of their plans, and the grandfather called the whole family together for a long talk about it. Granddad said he was an old man and his grandchildren gave him spiritual and emotional support in his old age. He hoped his son and daughter-in-law would not move away with the children. Granddad's words softened Mrs. Chang's heart and she turned to the children to ask them if they wanted to move. Unexpectedly, her son, who was only just in the first grade, answered: "Mommy went to see Grandpop in Chungli and on the way home she was crying because she was thinking that Grandpop had raised so many children but now that he was an old man, he was all alone. If we all move away from here, then won't Grandmom and Granddad become lonely old people, too?" Her son's words moved Mrs. Chang and from then on she abandoned the idea of leaving her in-laws' house, made a major effort to get along with her mother-in-law and concentrated on the benefits of extended family life.

"Three-generation living gives one comfort and has its joyful side," says Mrs. Chang. Growing up in an extended family, the two children are more able to handle multiple human relationships and have a better understanding of sharing. From Granddad and Grandmom the kids can also learn things their parents have no experience with. For example, in Grandmom's room little Ms. Chang can "broaden her knowledge" about cosmetics and perfume, things her mother doesn't have, being rather indifferent to her appearance and never having made herself up. A little girl's natural penchant for beauty can thus be fully satisfied.

Not long ago Granddad accidentally took a fall and both children rushed over to help him up. Even though they were all in a muddle and not really able to get him up, you could see the children's concern for the old man in their actions. Not only was Granddad happy, you could see in Mama's eyes how it comforted her and made her happy. The next morning Granddad got up and without a word went out and bought a whole table full of MOS burgers to "reward" the children's filial attitude.

The three-generation family is certainly not without its drawbacks. The ideas of the grandparents and the parents with regard to the children and how to bring up them up are different-this is perhaps the biggest problem. For example, Mom doesn't allow the children to eat snacks, while the grandparents just love buying them for the kids to eat. Granddad feels sorry that his grandson has to study so hard and is always saying to him, "What's the point of studying so much? There's no use in it!" Every time the old man talks about his theory that "there's no point in studying," Mrs. Chang, not able to challenge him face to face, waits until he retires to his room and then immediately comes up with a way to "disinfect" the atmosphere so her son doesn't really become lazy in his studies.

"The three-generation family is good for both the oldsters and youngsters alike," says Mrs. Chang. On the one hand the old people can derive pleasure from their grandchildren, and on the other the children get another shoulder they can lean on. It's only the generation in between that feels a bit put upon. Especially the daughter-in-law, who gets interfered with at every turn and who doesn't have her own space, has a difficult time of it. But Mrs. Chang feels that "sacrificing a little personal freedom in exchange for the whole family's happiness-it's very well worth it!"

"My mother-in-law has changed quite a bit in personality, and I have learned to take things easier," says Mrs. Chang. Life in recent years with her mother-in-law has become increasingly pleasant because they now understand each other better and make compromises. More importantly, she knows she has given something of herself to her family, really gotten something back in return, and has grown as an individual. Such satisfying and happy feelings put vim and vigor into her life each day.