Today, when traditional moral stric-tures seem to have lost their effectiveness, what can be relied on to convince young people to postpone the age at which they begin sexual activity, to minimize the number of partners, and to avoid the pitfalls of sex?

Edwin Yen, executive director of the Mercy Memorial Foundation, says that Chinese have always dealt with the problem of youth sex by isolating boys from girls and repressing their desire. But this "first line of defense" has already been breached. Thus many people are urging that the example of more sexually open countries be followed, and that children be taught the "second line of defense"-contraception and how to avoid sexually transmitted diseases. In fact, neither of these approaches is adequate.

Safe sex, responsible sex

Edwin Yen says that preventing problematic sexual behavior in teens starts from teaching them a proper sexual outlook. The highest principles of sex ed are "love" and "respect."

Yen has never tried to scare children by telling them sex is dirty or shameful. But he does tell them that "sex is the most intimate of human relationships, and is the most precious gift you can give to the one you love." Besides love and respect, one should also consider the possible consequences of sex, and especially avoid hurting one's partner.

"I tell young people that at their age feelings change rapidly. One day they might be devoted to someone, and the next day feel tired of them. People's feelings will be hurt much more deeply if there have already been intimate relations," says Yen.

Retreating to the second line, if sexual behavior is going to happen, then it must be "responsible sex" and "safe sex." Lectures on condom use, which have started in schools only in the past two years, aim precisely at these goals.

Chiang Han-sun, head of the Department of Urology at Taipei Medical College and a director of the Chinese Association of Sexuality Education (CASE), says that condoms are the best method currently available for contraception and avoiding sexually transmitted diseases. Though in fact most students are very innocent, and won't have any use for this knowledge within the next three to five years, condom use is knowledge that all modern citizens should have, so it should be taught in schools.

Yet condoms are no panacea. There is much evidence that young people are impulsive and act without thinking, so that they will forget all about condoms.McDonald's, the safest place?

Mercy Memorial Foundation lecturer Wang Jui-chi, who is also a CASE director, says that most of the time when young people have sex, even the first time, it's totally unplanned. Sometimes it happens at some romantic moment when there is nobody else around, sometimes kids rush into it because their friends are urging them on. It is not likely that in such cases the young people will have brought condoms. Moreover, though sex ed encourages youths who already have boy/girlfriends to carry condoms all the time just in case, many kids don't do so because, when the moment comes, they are afraid their partner will accuse them of having been scheming for sex all along.

So what is to be done? Wang on the one hand teaches condom use, but on the other cautions children that they should "avoid what can be avoided." The best policy is still "Don't have sex!"

Wang says that, before the fact, many kids think: "I wouldn't be so stupid as to have sex without a condom!" But, she warns kids: "Don't rely on things like moral fortitude, determination, or clear thinking, they aren't dependable!"

Wang advises that, to avoid falling into a situation where one's passions might take control, it is best to avoid "susceptible days" and "susceptible places."

"Susceptible days" include Valentine's Day, Chinese Lovers' Day, birthdays, Christmas, the night before a boy goes into compulsory military service, and even the first date after a big argument. It is more difficult to keep in control on those days. On such days, be sure not to arrange a date in some romantic and secluded spot with no one around: "The safest thing is to meet in McDonald's!" laughs Wang.Defense policy for the future

Beyond these lines of defense, what about overall "defense policy" for the long run? A recent multinational survey by Durex, a condom manufacturer, gave the impression that compared to young people in other countries, Taiwanese youth are the most "impulsive" and anxious to go to bed. Edwin Yen suggests that the key is that Taiwanese young people lack an environment in which to "relate to the opposite sex in a normal manner."

Yen describes how relations between the sexes go through different stages. First comes collective social interaction, then one-on-one dating, and finally the establishment of a fixed boyfriend-girlfriend relationship.

But there has been little attention in Taiwan devoted to teaching young people how to be friends with the opposite sex. Though these days there are relatively few "monasteries" and "convents" (all-boy or all-girl schools), it is still common to see the boys on one side of the school grounds and the girls on the other, neither side talking to the other.

One reason for this is that many parents, upon hearing a young person of the opposite sex phoning up for their son or daughter, immediately worry about the worst possible outcome-pre-wed pregnancy-and try to stop the friendship. They deprive their kids of opportunities to approach the opposite sex in a normal, relaxed way. They force even the most innocent male-female friendships "underground." This has the consequence of leaving children to deal blindly with their desires on their own. Obviously adults need to revise their attitudes as well.

The highest standards for sex ed are "love" and "respect." Unfortunately, teaching "how to make love" is easy, teaching "how to love" is very difficult. With families dissolving and social structures in flux, we must all work together to implement a long-term defense strategy and help young people construct their first and second lines of defense.