Diversity of singles
At the same time, some people are consciously determined to remain single. Writer Huang Mingjian, for example, decided when she was only 13 not to marry, but to live an easy and happy life alone. Her book The Single Aristocracy published 22 years ago became the foremost discussion in print about the possibility of remaining single, a insightful work well ahead of its time.
Nevertheless, remaining unswervingly single throughout one's lifetime is perhaps something that not many people are able to achieve.
Popular blogger Mimiko, at nearly 50, has recently published a book titled Just Want to be Alone, OK? She says in the book: "Being able to completely accept the idea that you will never marry may be the result of long-term trial and error, or could be the outcome of sudden enlightenment after a particular event." But even if you have already thought through the idea that living alone would be much better than living with a partner and torturing each other, "at certain sentimental moments, you still wish there could be someone there with you."
Situations that could disturb Mimiko's tranquil mood include things like a scary earthquake in the middle of the night, being prostrated by fever, suffering unfair treatment at work, and so on. "However, when you're emotionally vulnerable, you're suffering physical pain, or you want a shoulder to lean on, all you can do is to deal with your own problems or think of some way around them in order to keep yourself going-and then you find you're not so fragile or useless after all!" But most importantly for Mimiko, she has many genuine friends to share her life, so loneliness is never an issue for her.
However, many unmarried women are still looking for love and have the courage to pursue it. Kristy Chu, a 45 year-old professor in the Institute of Fashion and Communications Design at Shih Chien University, has a philosophy of simply being herself. Recently on a TV talk show she told one of the other guests, a male entertainer, of her feelings for him. She was rejected on national TV. But she wasn't humiliated, explaining that "a single woman shouldn't have to wait for a man to chase her. She should be able to take the initiative to express her feelings." And her self-confident attitude was applauded.
Many unmarried women still have a strong desire to become mothers. Entertainer Pauline Lan (known as Taiwan's Madonna) has enjoyed a successful career and life. But then three years ago, living without a regular partner, she went to Japan to have artificial insemination. Although her pregnancy ended in a miscarriage, it was meant as a gift for her parents at the same time as fulfilling her own dream.
Li points out that there are an increasing number of women with three highs over 40 who want to remain single, but who want to have a baby. "They are mature both physically and mentally, are able to take responsibility for their own actions, and also have the courage to break out of the social straightjacket. Our society should give them as much support as possible."