Male anxieties
But men have their own sexual hang-ups.
Porno movies, sexy lingerie, and all assortment of sexual paraphernalia help to get modern people sexually stimulated. But the advance of romance and proliferation of sexual techniques has brought a swelling of anxiety. Many men, comparing their own skills in bed to the god-like marathon sessions on screen, think that they have problems. Quite a few even go to the hospital for consultations.
But Chang Pin, a 30-year-old who works as a programmer for a computer company, thinks that modern men need not worry much about being "strong, bold and ferocious." Rather, in today's era of sexual equality, "money" tops the list of manly concerns. "If you have money," he says, "you'll have women."
Yang Chao, who once ran "The Men's Sexual Workshop" and is now writing Phenomena of the Taiwanese Male, has discovered that men are now most worried about their declining power and authority.
"Now that women are running neck and neck with men in schools and at the workplace, there is growing consciousness about sexual equality, and many men are aware of losing the authority that their fathers had," Yang Chao says. "They have, for instance, lost the right to have affairs openly and bark orders and lose their tempers in public." But the problem is that from a very young age Taiwanese boys and girls go to different schools or sit in different classrooms and are prohibited from having any interaction with the opposite sex. The result is that even down to the present day, when the stress is on equality and not power struggle, the biggest problem men face is "not understanding delicate female emotions and moods." This is a basic point of conflict in many relationships today.
Over the last year, such famous women as the actress Hu Yin-meng and the businesswoman Yin Chi have stood at society's cutting edge by having children out of wedlock and boldly building single-parent homes. Their actions have shaken traditional notions. Now men are wondering, "Does this mean that we are going to be reduced to being 'stud bulls'?"
Confusion about love and sex
In Taiwan, as the old order--be it political, economic or social--has been unraveling, value systems and the rules for playing the game have been in flux. Relations between the sexes are no exception. Sexual relationships have been growing more diverse and complicated, and women's groups and academics have been calling for people to stop and think.
Ho Chun-juei has been at the center of a storm of controversy for nearly a year now, and many consider her views on sexual liberation "social poison." But she defends her position, saying that she has been examining the problem of women's sexual oppression for a long time. She served as host of the "Sexual Mood Workshop"; held long, probing talks with eight women over 12 weeks; and thought deeply about women and sex before urging Taiwanese women to achieve sexual self-realization. "In Taiwan enjoyment of sex has already become quite open, but women are still ensnared in conflicts and contradictions," she says. "These are long-term social and psychological restraints."
In Bold Women, she breaks apart various traditional Taiwanese sexual conceptions, such as the virginity complex and the logic that says "the man wins and the woman loses" in sexual liaisons. She examines carnal pleasure and confusion over such issues as faithfulness in marriage. Her brazen call for sexual liberation really means "breaking the autocratic nature of sexual relations, allowing everybody (and every body) to hold their head up high." And she wants an end to people being universally condemned and discriminated against for being homosexual or having pre-marital sex, extra-marital affairs, multiple sexual partners or a child outside of wedlock.
In order to get rid of the "sacred face of marriage," women's groups have recently orchestrated a series of activities advocating revision of the laws. They want to remove the civil stipulation that says if adultery is the legal cause for divorce, then the offending party is forbidden from marrying his or her partner in sin, and they are working even harder at decriminalizing adultery. Their positions have led to many angry telephone calls from first wives. The Awakening Foundation holds that the basic quality of marriage ought to be "two independent beings deciding to spend their lives together." When modern women are stressing their independence and authority over their own bodies, it's time for people to reflect on the very nature of marriage and relations between the sexes.
As opposed to the various radical theories that women have brought forward, Yan Han-wen, the administrative director of the Hsingling Medical Foundation and a professor of public health at Taiwan Normal University, argues that deep down people are most worried about loneliness, not sex.
"The biggest sexual difference between people and animals is that for humans sex is built on a foundation of emotion and responsibility," says a woman senior executive who works in the media. Modern people's sexual lives look very messed up, but many a couple maintains a good emotional relationship over long stretches of time without any sex at all. Sometimes this is a result of physical problems, but more often than not it is because a couple must be separated for reasons of work or education. Many people so separated, out of a desire to keep a good relationship with their spouse or in consideration of their family responsibilities, show determination to stay sexually abstinent through the course of their spouse's absence. Whether for men or women, human sexual behavior cannot be purely weighed in biological terms.
Tolerating all kinds of possibilities
"In the 1970s, while America was being sexually liberated, it was fashionable to sleep around and swap husbands and wives," says Yan Han-wen. "But now, 20 years later, although the divorce rate remains high, the sexual unit of one husband and one wife is still the mainstream of American society." Yan holds that Americans' return to this norm after passing through sexual liberation proves that ultimately people look to their marriages to find a sense of belonging. Must Taiwan make its own mistakes and follow in America's footsteps?
Chuang notes that sexual liberation completely transformed American society. From one marriage per person, it became a society of multiple marriages, where those shacking up together or divorced endure less pressures and kids can live happily with a parent, a step parent, step-siblings and half-siblings. "It may be that the single husband and wife structure will still be the mainstream, but can society tolerate other possibilities?" Chuang asks. Sexual liberation is a strategy for social change, she believes. Its goal is to break traditional structures, to create more possibilities.
The age's big wheel of liberal diversity is turning. As sexual taboos are falling, where will the changes in the rules governing sexual relations lead? The debate about sexual liberation rages, but perhaps people will only be able to provide solutions to change after going through it.
[Picture Caption]
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Women's groups, advocating that women exercise control over their own bodies, have taken to the streets to protest sexual harassment. (photo by Diago Chiu)
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Under the flashing neon, "love hotels," hostess clubs and bars flourish all around us. Is the realm of extra-marital passion expanding?
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Pornography on video and CD ROM may satisfy the curiosity that modern people have about sex, but it doesn't accurately depict relations between the sexes.
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Striptease joints--or "beef markets" as they are known in Chinese--once boomed in towns and villages all across Taiwan. But the rise of pornographic video has spelled their demise. (photo by Chiu Sheng-wang)
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The humorously exaggerated goods on offer at sex paraphernalia shops reflect how modern folk are treating sex as a game.
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Teenagers have discarded their parents' shy ways. Seeing them kiss on the street is nothing new. (photo by Hsueh Chi-kuang)
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"Where do babies come from?" Sex is central to human life, but parents get headaches trying to figure out how to teach their children about it. (photo by Hsueh Chi-kuang)
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Traditional society's separation of the sexes is no longer practical for modern, open society. What new code of sexual ethics will be adopted? People on all sides of the debate agree that new trails must be blazed.
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