After hearing this, one father acts as if he has awakened from a dream, and patting his child's head, exclaims, "Ah! So that's how it is. You have to study your EQ really well, so that you won't end up like your dad, doing manual labor for other people his whole life."
In April of last year, the Chinese translation of American psychology writer Daniel Goleman's book Emotional Intelligence was published in Taiwan. In less than a year's time, 500,000 copies have been frantically snatched up, breaking all previous Taiwan book-sales records. Throughout the whole world, Taiwan is one of the places where Emotional Intelligence, or EQ as it is titled in Chinese, has sold the best.
In a short time, the notion of emotional intelligence has come in Taiwan to seem like a magic elixir. A large quantity of related products have one after the other become hot items in the marketplace. More than a few products which have nothing to do with the subject have been decorated with irrelevant "EQs." Experts and famous public figures have been frequently invited to discuss the merits of EQ on TV and radio, and to speak at meetings and activities, exhibiting "feats of EQ."
As a matter of course, the "EQ fad" has swept into the realm of children's education. One after another, many different EQ teaching materials have surfaced: "How to raise a child with a high EQ," "Children's EQ Music Box" and "Baby EQ Calisthenics." Various different social organizations have promoted EQ development groups or activities for the winter or summer vacations. There are even certain kindergartens which have become famous for this area of knowledge, taking as their hallmark the ability to cultivate high-EQ kids. Concerned parents rush to hear lectures, afraid their precious youngsters will miss the EQ train. . . .
Taiwan's mainstream educational structure is divided into the five categories of ethics, scholastic learning, physical education, social skills and the fine arts. Among these, the category of scholastic learning has always been given the greatest weight. Yet the recent craze for "EQ," with its emphasis on self-discipline, interpersonal relationships, emotional expressiveness and a balance between the mind and body, could be described as encompassing things ethical, physical, social and artistic. Many people harbor mixed emotions, wondering whether the popularity of EQ is a sign that our society has abandoned its former bias toward the myth of IQ.
Balancing the intelligence seesaw
"The Taiwanese previously only had access to IQ as a standard for passing judgment. The EQ concept had a tremendous impact upon Taiwan society, giving people an extra measure for setting values, an extra path to success," believes Chung Shi-kai, professor at National Chengchi University's graduate school of psychology.
The phrase "EQ," was coined by the Chinese-language translator of Emotional Intelligence as a take-off on the household term "IQ" or "intelligence quotient."
In 1905, the French psychologist Binet and his assistant Simon designed 30 test topics to determine the level of evaluees' intelligence, thus creating the first IQ test. They used the tested score ("intellectual age") and divided it by the person's actual age to arrive at their intelligence quotient. Afterwards, as intelligence testing became more popular, IQ became a surrogate term for intellectual prowess.
As Emotional Intelligence explains, EQ refers to people's ability to control their emotional life and interpersonal relationships. It can be divided into the skills of knowing one's emotions, managing emotions, motivating oneself, recognizing emotions in others and handling relationships. "To put it another way," states Chung Shi-kai, "although EQ is a fashionable new phrase, it isn't any kind of epoch-making new concept. Its ideas are drawn from the areas of contemporary psychology and education, and rearranged."
As an example of the diversity of intellectual abilities, Chung recalls the famous Harvard psychologist Howard Gardner who did research on intelligence in 1983, differentiating seven different categories of intellectual abilities-linguistic, logical/mathematical, spatial, bodily kinesthetic, personal and introspective. Language and logical/mathematical are the traditional standards for judging IQ; personal and introspective abilities, however, belong to the domain of EQ. This shatters the myth that IQ is the single determinate of a person's success.
Just as Emotional Intelligence author Daniel Goleman has observed, many social phenomena of the last few decades have revealed that neither academic achievement nor professional ability are the sole factors leading to success. Especially in modern corporations which emphasize organizational management, such qualities as emotional balance, personability and leadership are frequently more important. For example, when selecting new personnel, many relatively large companies require psychological personality evaluations in addition to information on professional skills and work experience. In helping the corporate community look for new talent, the general manager of Career Magazine Christina Ongg has always emphasized "appropriate talent and character"; abilities and personality are equally important.
Healthy and happy
Some people have changed after being influenced by the concept of emotional intelligence. Housewife Li Kui-ying is an example. She and her husband pay a lot of attention to their son's education. After he was born, they did their very best to cultivate his intelligence. For instance, they used all kinds of teaching materials, building models and illustrated books to stimulate their son's memory and cognition. And the boy didn't let them down; he tested into a gifted students' program.
"However, I found out he wasn't happy," says Li. "On the one hand, my son strained his brain too much, and he didn't get enough exercise. His physique was skinny and weak, and he seemed fairly melancholy and introverted. What's more, the gifted students' class laid a lot of stress on grades, so the competition was acute. My son could not make really close friends, so he often kept to himself."
After she discovered the situation, she let her son make the decision to attend an ordinary junior high school program. During winter or summer vacations, she now encourages him to take part in group outings, and consequently their son has become happier and healthier. Now Li Kui-ying's future expectations for her son are "to possess some professional skills, to have good personal relations, and to be healthy and happy."
Mrs. Chia has also changed the way she evaluates her two children. One day she was sitting in her living room, and through her French window she saw her two boys playing with the neighbor's children in the garden. She saw her elder son put together a big "robot" with Lego toys, and with considerable pride she thought, "My eldest son's IQ is pretty high!"
Unexpectedly, one of the neighbor's children went to grab the robot and accidentally broke it into pieces. This made her son scream out in anger, and he gave the boy a shove. The boy burst out in tears, and the atmosphere was suddenly tense. Then she saw her second son hold the boy and softly soothe him, and at the same time he turned around and urged his brother not to be angry. When seeing this, Mrs. Chia sighed contentedly, "I never expected that this naive boy of mine actually had quite a high EQ!"
Can EQ make a child well-behaved?
In addition to providing a different value perspective on success, the writer Wu Chuan-yu believes that EQ especially stresses managing emotions and cuts to the heart of the severe problem of emotional disturbance which contemporary society has.
Based upon various different research conclusions, Goleman expresses the strong belief that social problems, particularly the worsening problems among children and adolescents, are linked to the emotions. For example, crime rates, suicide rates, underage pregnancy and drug use, as well as many kinds of psychological disorders such as depression and anorexia can all be attributed to individual emotional disorders or defects.
In Emotional Intelligence, Goleman notes: "Perhaps the most telling data of all-a direct barometer of dropping levels of emotional competence-are from a national sample of American children, ages seven to sixteen, comparing their emotional conditions in the mid-1970s and at the end of the 1980s. Based on parents' and teachers' assessments, there was a steady worsening. No one problem stood out; all indicators simply crept steadily in the wrong direction."
Goleman also lists some specific problems: "Withdrawal or social problems-preferring to be alone; being secretive; sulking a lot; lacking energy; feeling unhappy; being overly dependent. . . Delinquent or aggressive-hanging around kids who get in trouble; lying and cheating; arguing a lot; being mean to other people; demanding attention; destroying other people's things; disobeying at home and at school; being stubborn and moody; talking too much; teasing a lot; having a hot temper."
"Among the youth and children of Taiwan, these problems are nothing out of the ordinary," says Wu Chuan-yu, a professional lecturer who delivers a public discourse nearly every day. Two years ago she began to notice that during her lectures, audience members were more frequently bringing up questions concerning emotional management or educational problems. For this reason, she also began to refocus the topics of her talks. Her lecture "Creating an Outstanding EQ-On Emotional Management and Adjustment" which she gave last month at the Youshih Arts Center attracted a packed house of more than 700 listeners.
The "Survey on the Daily Life and Emotional Condition of Children and Youth," undertaken last year by the John Tung Foundation, interviewed more than 3400 elementary and junior high school students in the greater Taipei area. The survey's results indicated that nearly 40% of the students "rarely felt happy."
When they felt angry or upset, many did something to make themselves feel happy or sought out friends with whom they could talk. But what has worried many psychologists is that an average of 20% chose to "sit and fume."
The new demands of growing up
In the past, Chinese people tended to suppress their emotions as a method of emotional management. Wu notes that when children got angry, their parents would say, "Don't lose your temper so easily." And when they became excited, they would chastise them, "Don't get carried away." If their boy was weeping, parents would tell him, "Men don't shed tears lightly." When one has the habit of suppressing emotions, feelings are held back until they can be held no longer, at which time they erupt. This is the source of violent behavior and psychosomatic illness.
The increasingly greater number of "little bombs" in Taiwanese society are making parents conscious that their children need to learn different methods of emotional management and expression. Many parents even seek the assistance of social groups, having their children take part in personal development groups or attend similar classes.
The Yuyen Welfare Foundation, established 12 years ago and principally aiming to provide service to families, has started a number of child/parent personal development groups. Director Lune-fen Huang says that by looking at the backgrounds of the group members, one can gain an understanding of the condition of children today. For instance, if parents have an only child, they are often concerned that, lacking siblings, he or she may have insufficient socializing experience. They therefore have them participate in a group, hoping to cultivate their ability to interact.
Taiwan has a large number of small and medium-sized businesses. Many proprietors hope that their children will take over the family business, and while their children are still only in grade school, they have them take part in leadership or self-affirmation groups. In addition, when preparing to emigrate, many parents fear their children will not adjust well to their new environment, and take their kids to emotional management class, for a "preventive inoculation."
Hsu Man-li, who lives in Toufen Township in Miaoli County, discovered five years ago that her third child suffered from a congenital disease and was severely handicapped. She then became mired in emotional depression, and to help herself recover and break through her difficulties, she began to take part in some personal development groups. Afterwards, she became aware of the unsettled, disorderly atmosphere in her home, and realized that it might be affecting the other two children. She was worried that they did not know how to deal with a severely handicapped little brother, and that this would create difficulties in their interpersonal relationships. She therefore had them take part in a psychological treatment group designed especially for children.
"It turns out that the children really had built up a lot of anger and sadness in their hearts because of what happened in our family during that time," she says. "It was very fortunate that this group could help them to properly manage their emotions. This was something I could not have done myself." From that time forward, she often arranged for her children to take part in suitable groups, such as ones about interpersonal communication and empathy training, to give her children more opportunities to learn to manage their emotions.
Of course, a number of parents have also adhered to a permissive philosophy of child-rearing, only to discover that their offspring have turned into "angry little lords" and "little tyrants," badly tempered and unwilling to communicate. They often find themselves at a loss for what to do, and when they hear that the theory of EQ can build a child's ability for rational communication, they rush toward it en masse, embracing the hope that their child may one day be well-behaved.
Because the theory of EQ includes a balanced, multifaceted educational perspective that emphasizes both the mental and physical aspects of individuals' emotions, it has not only become popular among the population at large, but has also garnered considerable interest in the academic community, being seen as compatible with the call to educational reform. In order to encourage teachers to upgrade their professional skills, the Taoyuan County Bureau of Education held a professional book-reading campaign. This year they chose Emotional Intelligence as a selected reading. Once the participating teachers have passed a comprehension test, they can get credit toward their required study hours. This improves their work evaluations and helps them qualify for future promotions.
"Our teaching in fact used to put more emphasis on cognitive achievement and grades, to the neglect of life-oriented achievements like managing emotions," says Chang Pao-kuang, chief of the Taoyuan County Bureau of Education. We usually tend to think with our left brains. The book Emotional Intelligence teaches people how to develop the mental faculties of their right brains, which are less commonly used. When intelligence and emotions are integrated, we can unleash tremendous potential.
A different myth?
From the subjective point of view, EQ can decidedly serve the function of breaking the IQ myth, and provide a new perspective for valuing people and solving their problems. The question is, isn't the recent EQ fever boiling a little too hot?
The writer Hsiao Yeh believes that the EQ fad has stimulated people to think, and to consider different, unexplored possibilities for humanity. However, "In Taiwan, education easily leans toward extremes. Nowadays it seems like we're throwing out the IQ myth and sweeping in the EQ myth."
He says what worries him is that the impetus behind this phenomenon is still utilitarianism, and it has not thoroughly changed parents' expectations that their children succeed.
Dr. Chiang Han-kuang of the Tri Service General Hospital psychiatric department in Taipei believes that the popularity of the EQ concept has produced a number of stereotypes. Those who are lucky enough to have both a high IQ and a high EQ will inevitably have an easy time making their way through the world and enjoy the success and honor they rightfully deserve. Those with high IQs but low EQs will have no way to put their spectacular brains to good use. As for people with mediocre IQs but impressive EQs, they will usually have the chance to turn their lot in life around, to climb their way up and compete for favorable positions with the high-IQ set, or even rise to the top with their special talents.
"Obsessively focusing on EQ," he avers, "would very likely create an undesirable subculture in which people are hypocritical, excessively complex, and adjust their behavior according to each situation in order to curry the favor of others. If this happened, we might replace the past unfair bias toward academic standing and breeding, but we would be embracing a different kind of extreme."
Chiang Han-kuang believes that in actuality the main purpose for promoting EQ is to teach everyone to pay attention to emotional and psychological health, to understand individual personalities, to become more mature and stable and to maintain a balance between the body and the mind. The point should be to pursue the true meaning of health and happiness, not such superficial viewpoints as distinguishing EQ grades or gaining advantages.
Does EQ need more testing?
Those who educate small children ponder another troubling question-will this new phenomenon create additional pressure for today's kids? On top of the heavy burdens of academic work and artistic studies, will they be forced to master the new curriculum of EQ as well? For example, according to the academic reform plan that is currently being devised, when considering new applicants, high schools will consider not only their academic records, but also other aspects such as ethics, social skills and physical education. Many people are worried that children will be forced to go to supplementary schools to conquer these other subjects.
Yang Hsiu-chih, director of Chinghua University's Counseling Center, expresses some doubt: "Have these people who are so fanatical about EQ really considered the problem of children's emotional education? Or are they just projecting their own psychological needs?"
Yang, who also serves as consultant to the Family Education Service Center of Hsinchu City and trains volunteers to lead children's personal development groups, points out that the way children manage their emotions is very different from adults. Their behavior and reactions are generally immediate and direct, and their methods of expression tend to be physical and emotive. Adults, however, tend to misunderstand the special nature of children. Concocting a set of EQ training regulations which children have to follow might actually create emotional disturbances for them.
For example, while counseling children's groups, Yang discovered that some course materials wanted group members to express what they had learned from the activities they had just completed. "Sitting, talking and sharing are the paradigms of oral expression used by adults," says Yang Hsiu-chih. "Children usually play at something and then forget it. They don't necessarily learn anything, and they may not be able to express themselves. Group leaders with insufficient experience may believe that the children have a problem."
Mom & Dad's EQ a bigger problem?
Dr. Wang Hao-wei, psychiatrist at National Taiwan University Hospital and a well-known essayist in Taiwan, was responsible for editing the Chinese translation of Emotional Intelligence, and for this reason he has been frequently invited by radio programs to talk about the subject. He recalls that a mother once called into a live radio talk show and frantically asked how to cultivate her five-year-old child's EQ.
"She said, 'How come my child is already this old but still doesn't know how to be sympathetic? He doesn't know how to love and protect his little brother. Instead, he hits his brother to get a toy.' My goodness," says Wang, "he's only five years old. If he didn't steal toys, it would be cause for concern. On the contrary, what I was more worried about was the deep anxiety in that mother's voice. It seems that in the foreseeable future, besides being worried about their kids' IQs, all the parents will have the extra burden of their EQs too."
In reality, nearly all experts emphasize that parents and educators should first study "EQ" themselves. The book Emotional Intelligence itself suggests that parents are in fact a child's "emotional education."
Perhaps, after adults have raised their own emotional quotients, they won't be quite so consumed with EQ fever!
p.20
Traditional education is slanted toward cognitive achievement, and thus may expose children to a great deal of emotional pressure and frustration. The concept of emotional intelligence, which emphasizes emotional education, has recently become very big in Taiwan, showing us a way to break the IQ myth and move toward a multifaceted and balanced education.
p.22
Since ancient times, China has stressed "doing work around the house and learning to relate to others" as a principal rule of etiquette. In modern times, it is a lesson in life more worthy of attention than ever.
p.23
EQ refers to people's abilities to manage their emotional life and interpersonal relationships. Experts believe that this ability depends mostly upon education and rearing experienced after one is born. It has therefore aroused new hope in many mothers and fathers that their children will be able to rise to the top.
p.24
Experts believe that children's emotional education begins with interaction with their parents. If they want to raise their children's EQs, parents must begin by improving the way they teach their kids.
p.25
More and more families have both parents out in the work force. Parents and children often find it hard to coordinate their work and play. How should modern parents care for their children's emotions?
p.26
According to psychological research, the pre-school years and adolescence are the most emotionally unstable periods of youth. Parents and teachers must make extra efforts to help children learn to manage their emotions. The problem of teenagers racing motorcycles on the street has caused society a considerable degree of vexation. (photo by Tsai Ming-te)
p.27
Dancing is an activity teenagers love, and it is a good way for young people at the height of their energies to release emotional pressure.
p.30
The methods children use to express their feelings are considerably different from those of adults. Whether adults can patiently learn to empathize with kids will prove a test of their own EQs.
Experts believe that children's emotional education begins with interact ion with their parents. If they want to raise their children's EQs, parents must begin by improving the way they teach their kids.
More and more families have both parents out in the work force. Parents and children often find it hard to coordinate their work and play. How should modern parents care for their children's emotions?
According to psychological research, the pre-school years and adolescence are the most emotionally unstable periods of youth. Parents and teachers must make extra efforts to help children learn to manage their emotions. The problem of teenagers racing motorcycles on the street has caused society a considerable degree of vexation. （photo by Tsai Ming-te）
Dancing is an activity teenagers love, and it is a good way for young people at the height of their energies to release emotional pressure.
The methods children use to express their feelings are considerably different from those of adults. Whether adults can patiently learn to empathize with kids will prove a test of their own EQs.
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