Lu Da Teaches a Bandit a Lesson

1 Lu Zhishen, the fake monk, set off from Mount Wutai and headed for Daxiangguo Monastery near the Eastern Capital. One day he came to a settlement at the foot of Mount Taohua, and stopped to spend the night, but the villagers tried to shoo him away. Lu became angry and was about to beat up the headman.

2 Just then Squire Liu emerged and ordered the villagers to stop. After finding out what was going on, he said: "We have a difficult evening ahead of us, but for now let's show due courtesy to our visitor from Mount Wutai." A feast was thus prepared in Lu's honor.

3 After everyone had eaten, Lu asked: "Might I enquire what trouble you face this evening?" Squire Liu replied: "A pair of bandit chiefs and their gang came to Mount Taohua recently, and have been marauding through the district. They helped themselves to a 'betrothal gift' of 20 taels of gold and a bolt of red brocade, and one of them is coming back tonight to claim my daughter's hand in marriage. The girl is distraught and the whole family is in turmoil."

4 "Not to worry," smiled Lu. "Permit this humble monk to dissuade the bandit from marrying your daughter. You just go ahead with the banquet as planned, and I'll wait for him in the girl's quarters."

5 At dusk, with the whole village lit by flaming torches, the second-in-command of the bandit gang rode down from the mountain with his men. Squire Liu welcomed the bridegroom with a toast, and led him to the nuptial chamber.

6 Stepping inside, the bandit called out: "What's going on? It's pitch black in here. My dear, won't you come and greet me?" He groped forward until his hands came upon the rotund belly of the fake monk. "My dear, is that you?"

7 Lu Zhishen answered the bandit with a whack. "Hey!" yelped the bandit, "What was that for?" Lu bellowed back: "I'll teach you to show your old lady some respect!" With that he knocked the bandit to the floor, and beat him until he wailed for mercy.

8 The bandit's men rushed into the room to save their leader, and fled with him back up Mount Taohua. Squire Liu was left wringing his hands in despair. Back at base, the thwarted bandit asked his chieftain to wreak vengeance on the village.

9 The bandit gang charged on the village, where Lu Zhishen, stave in hand, stood ready for them. "Filthy vermin!" Lu cursed. "Come and get it!" Hearing Lu's voice, the chieftain halted the attack. "Is that Chief Military Instructor Lu Da?" he called. On confirming that it was indeed Lu, he said: "Comrade, I trust you have been keeping well," for the bandit chieftain was none other than Li Zhong, a renowned leader among the men of the greenwood.

10 Lu and Li repaired indoors to talk about the old days. It transpired

that the second-in-command of the bandit gang was a petty tyrant

called Zhou Tong. The next day Lu went with Li back up Mount

Taohua to see this Zhou, and asked him to drop his claim on

Squire Liu's daughter. Zhou swore, by the breaking of an arrow,

never again to harass the people of Squire Liu's village.