The Tavern at Kuaihuo Woods

1. Wu Song arrived at Anping Stockade, a prison camp in Mengzhou Prefecture, his place of exile. To his surprise he was spared the special flogging that was customarily meted out to new inmates, and found himself being served fine food and liquor. After several days of this he began to get worried. He grabbed the prison warden and asked: "Who told you to serve me such food? I can't rest easy until I know."

2. The warden replied that he was acting on the orders of the camp superintendent, Shi En. Later, Shi En invited Wu Song to his home. He welcomed Wu with a great show of respect, to which Wu hastily responded: "Though just an inmate here, I have been treated with great consideration. Yet I feel uncomfortable about this, for I am unworthy of such attention."

3. Replied Shi En: "I have long heard of your renown, sir, and would like to request your assistance in righting an injustice." Shi En explained to Wu Song that he owned a big, profitable tavern in Kuaihuo Woods, on the outskirts of the town near the East Gate. Not long before, the new militia chief, named Zhang, along with a thug called "Door God" Jiang, had seized control of the tavern. Shi En had been badly beaten up in the process, and left bedridden for two months.

4 . Wu Song asked for details about Door God Jiang, then guffawed: "I'll get the tavern back for you, and help you avenge yourself. In return you have to treat me to three bowls of premium liquor at every tavern we pass on the way out of town." "What?" gasped Shi En. "There must be 12 or 13 taverns between here and Kuaihuo Woods! What if you get completely drunk?" Wu Song just laughed off the question.

5. The next day they set out from Anping Stockade, stopping at every tavern along the way for Wu Song to down three bowls of liquor. By the time they arrived at Kuaihuo Woods, Wu Song was reeling. He staggered into the tavern and called out: "Bring me a drink!" The waitress, who was the wife of the new proprietor, poured him out a bowl of liquor. Wu Song took one sniff and cried: "This is off, take it away!"

6. "Then I'll bring you a bowl of our very best, good sir," simpered the waitress. Wu Song took a gulp from the second bowl, and spat out the liquid in disgust: "Horse piss! Who's in charge here?" At this, a voice called out: "Throw that stranger out, he's drunk and he's causing trouble!" Five or six toughs appeared, but before they could do anything Wu Song picked up the waitress and tossed her into the vat of liquor.

7. Door God Jiang rushed through the door and saw his wife floundering in the vat. He flung himself at Wu Song, but Wu dodged the attack, then booted Jiang hard in the guts.

8. Wu Song was a mean fighter after just one bowl of liquor, but with ten bowls inside him he was ten times as formidable. Door God Jiang, big and brawny as he was, ended up beaten and bloody and pleading for mercy.

9. Wu Song said: "I'll spare you, but you must give the tavern back to Shi En this instant, and make an apology in front of everyone. Then get out of Mengzhou, without a moment's delay, and go back where you came from. "Yes, yes!" croaked Jiang, desperate to save his life. "Whatever you say, I'll do it!"