Dear Editor,
I am Taiwanese born and bred, but moved to Switzerland when I got married. Now I have a child a year and a half old. Reading your cover story "Doing the Rights Thing: A Look at Human Rights for Kids in Taiwan" in the March overseas edition of Sinorama caused me to reflect on my own and others' experiences in both Taiwan and Switzerland.
The majority of Swiss women leave their jobs when they have children, to be able to give their child the best possible care. Even when they later return to employment they generally take part-time jobs, again to devote more time to their children and families. Following their example, I too am now a happy full-time mother. For me, playing with my child, reading him stories and being with him through every moment of his growing up is far more important than the money I would earn working.
Your article reports that children in Taiwan are burdened by excessive homework, and have inadequate time and space for play. This made me think back to the summer holidays last year, when a Taiwanese friend, an English teacher, came to see me in Switzerland. My husband was about to go off to work as a volunteer in a summer camp. My friend asked what kind of summer camp it was. But my husband didn't understand, so my friend explained: "For example, an English language camp, a maths camp, a computer studies camp, and so on." My husband replied that it was purely to take the children camping in the mountains, to play and live there. My friend commented that in Taiwan, this would surely be the most unpopular summer camp around. "You mean unpopular with parents!" I added under my breath.
Many parents in Taiwan decide all kinds of matters large and small for their children, "for the children's own good." But they rarely consider that their children may have their own ideas and preferences, and that they have the ability and the right to choose for themselves. And one day when these children are not children any more, they still have to bow to their parents' wishes in many important decisions. Among my former classmates are many who chose their field of study not according to their own interests, but at their parents' command. And I often heard of people splitting up from their boyfriends or girlfriends, or having to wait years before they could get married, because of their parents' opposition. In my own case, my "headstrong" decision to marry a foreigner created tension between me and my mother. When I was newly married I shed many tears over this. My husband and parents-in-law comforted me with great kindness, but they also said they found it very hard to understand that such a personal thing as marriage should not be a person's own decision.
In the almost three years since I came to Switzerland, I have discovered that Swiss parents don't treat their children as their property. They respect their opinions and choices, and trust them to be able to make their own decisions. I am sure parents in Taiwan don't love their children any less than parents in any other country. I sincerely hope that they can abandon the idea that "father and mother are always right," and can get down off their high horse, open their hearts and learn to respect their children's human rights. This is something I too am working hard to learn.
