This Is My Dream Woman

Hsu Chi-ching says that when he first went to work the pressure was great and fun wasn't on the top of his agenda. He wanted things to become more settled before "flapping his wings." This didn't happen until he was about 30.

He recalls that when he first came to the valley, a group of Chinese bachelors who were six or seven years older than him struck him as a flock of odd ducks. "Why are they still fooling around here?" he thought. Now fate has turned the tables, and people are reminding him that he ought to get married.

You ought to get married!

Hsu describes himself as athletic. "I like a lot of activities most women think of as pretty boring"--baseball, football, basketball and hockey chief among them. When it comes to sports, Hsu doesn't discriminate. In the summer, he plays on three different softball teams, rides his bicycle, swims, and at his craziest jogs about 20 miles a week. On Friday evenings in the winter, he drives to the mountains for a weekend of skiing. "My father says he's not sure if I came here to work or work out."

"With more exercise, I'm less likely to think bad thoughts," Hsu explains. Of course, he hopes his future wife will partake in the same pleasures.

With his "incorrigible love of fun," Hsu hopes he and his wife can enjoy two or three years by themselves after they marry. Because a wife near his own age will have pressure to give birth soon, logical analysis has led Hsu to seek someone four to eight years younger than him. Though the Chinese traditionally warn against a six-year age gap, Hsu says, "I hope to find a wife about six years my junior."

He isn't religious and doesn't like to sing. He's been to dances and single clubs, but he says that many of those participating make it quite clear they're just after a husband or wife. When he sees that crowd, he loses interest fast. At other times, "My fear of failure is too great, and I'm constantly worrying about whether she likes me." He finally found a sense of belonging with the National Taiwan University Single Alumni Association he organized. "We all feel like brothers and sisters there."

Watching prospective brides float by

Although he may lack a wife, he keeps his house neat and tidy. Sitting in his comfortable living room, he counts on his fingers the matchmaker-arranged meetings he's endured--more than 20 all told. "The basic purpose of these get-togethers is to let a potential spouse know your faults in a very short time." Since he wants to find a match, he doesn't hide anything. For instance he makes it clear that he pays attention to life's little details. The knickknacks and ornaments in his house must be laid out according to his specifications. You might say he's a little picky.

Even if he hasn't refused people trying to set him up, he describes himself "as a slow goer"--past the age of falling in love at first sight. Set in his ways, he's unlikely to be taken by love's hot blossoms in just a few short days.

"I know my problems. I have a kind of unyielding attitude. If I think of you as a certain kind of person, you're always going to be that kind of person to me." If there's no chemistry, he's willing to do without rather than settle for someone ill suited, for he's not unhappy as a bachelor.

"I'm a rough sort. Don't be fooled by my being pudgy and fair skinned. Women like to go to elegantly decorated French restaurants with good atmosphere and slowly savor the fine cuisine. I don't go in for that kind of thing," says Hsu, who is fond of laughing at himself. Many people think he's a lover of a good time, but women want trips to scenic Oregon to enjoy the dawn and sunset. As far as he's concerned, there's no fun in that at all. He much prefers working up a good sweat exercising.

He did once specially fly to Taiwan for an arranged introduction, but he hopes that a prospective match will have studied business or computers, because otherwise she will have a difficult time finding a job stateside.

This may sound "overly practical," but Hsu explains that he hopes two incomes will allow them to take out a mortgage on a house. Secondly, "a wife who doesn't get out of the house ages quickly, and her husband won't have anything to talk about with her when he gets home."

Cupid might find an "elite single" so set in his ways--so inflexible in his demands, so clear about what he'll do and what he won't--a hard target. But no matter! Though he's met failure everyplace he's sought a spouse, he carries a revolutionary determination in this search akin to Sun Yat-sen's. He's certain that some day he will meet his match.

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Can you tell that this lovely home is occupied by a bachelor? (photo by Cheng Yuan-ching)