From Recovery to Rebirth

People who have experienced a trauma need more than just medical care. Case after case makes it very clear that finding something positive in an injury is one element of a successful recovery.

Life is ever changing. Happiness, sadness, separation, reunion. . . these emotions cut us like knives, leaving their traces on our lives. The knives are painful to some. Others use such experiences to carve out a new life for themselves.

Last March, Peng Wan-ru, leader of the women's movement within the Democratic Progressive Party, was raped and killed. Her husband, Horng Wann-sheng, a professor of mathematics at Taiwan Normal University, says, "I've done my crying. My sorrow and anger will pass. But if I can't find some meaning in her death, it was a total loss." The 48-year-old Horng had been devoted to his academic research and was at the peak of his career. But his wife's murder destroyed his ability to work and shattered his family. It has forced him to raise his son on his own and brought his research to a virtual standstill.

"Life is ever changing, but we try to create something permanent, nonetheless." Horng went back to the beginning and started his life over again. After much reflection, he came to the conclusion that his wife's murder was a prime example of the severity of the abuse of women and children in Taiwanese society. He therefore took the money the public had donated in response to the murder and used it to establish a foundation to support work on social issues. Through it he hopes to build community-based organizations for the protection of women and children.

Turning pain into motivation

Ironically, his hurt has become a motivating force. He says that before his wife was killed, he often heard the cries of a woman being beaten coming from a home on his street. Every time he called the police, the local precinct did nothing at all. After his wife's murder, he heard the cries again, and again called the police. Much to his surprise, this time the precinct sent three patrol cars and a motorcycle unit to the scene; a total of eight police officers crowded into the alley. Since the police have taken this more serious attitude towards the situation, his neighbor has settled down.

"This blow [his wife's murder] made me realize that our society is too cold, it's paralyzed. Most people are trapped by their own feelings of powerlessness. When one day something happens, they pass the blame off onto someone else." Horng asks if this isn't a symptom of a whole society which is wounded. He says, "If people will only turn their sorrow and anger into energy and put that energy into public service, then I'll feel that all that I have suffered has meaning."

The book Trauma and Recovery points out that most people who have experienced a trauma look for something in their own life to help them deal with their hurt. A few also realize that their own misfortune can serve as the basis for social action.

Social action can take many forms. Some people focus their strength on helping others who have been similarly injured. Others use education, the law and political means to try to keep more people from coming to harm. In Taiwan, the best known example of the latter approach involved Mama Ko. After her son was killed in an automobile accident and she found herself unable to receive reasonable compensation, she spent seven years working for the passage of a bill requiring third-party insurance for automobiles.

A trial

Still other people use such events to turn around their own life and advance their thinking. Teng Mei-ling, managing editor at The China Times newspaper, is one of this type. When her husband was killed in an airplane disaster, she was unable to deal with the pain of his death and used to try to numb it by drinking herself into a stupor in the middle of the night. "When I sobered up, I'd see my vomit all over everything. And then I had to clean up after myself." It was this that pushed her to come to terms with her pain.

Later, after studying Buddhism and receiving guidance from a Buddhist master, she was enlightened: "Buddhism stresses that everything in the world is in flux. Suffering comes of being too inflexible; people want to hold onto what they have forever, which is a kind of avarice." Over time, Teng learned to let go. "My feelings for life deepened. I gained perspective and I gained the confidence to face the future and deal with crises." Now she can see the silver with which this tragedy was lined. "This is a trial that God has given me to teach me to be strong and independent, to teach me to be more patient and tolerant of others."

Writing is one of Teng's gifts. For many years she has use it to ease the pain of her loss. She has her own newspaper column in which she shares her experience of being injured and recovering. Not only has she created a new career for herself, she's also brought together many readers who've been through similar experiences, and provides them with support. Often, lonely readers call her in the middle of the night, and Teng isn't stingy with her time. She also uses her status as the wife of an air-disaster victim to monitor government activities aimed at improving air safety.

Rebirth

Although each new airplane crash that she hears of tears her wound open again, now "there's some new flesh growing inside." But Teng says, "You can't really call this experience 'recovery.' It's more a kind of rebirth."

Although one can never truly be compensated for the pain of a loss, if one can view the loss as a gift and sublimate the pain, the wound can become a lifespring.

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Teng Mei-ling, managing editor at The China Times, views her pain as a trial given to her by god to teach her something in this life.

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(left) Mama Ko went to the Legislative Yuan seeking justice on her son's behalf. The law she came away with benefited all the children of Taiwan. (photo by Hsu Chao-yi)

Horng Wann-sheng, a professor of mathematics at National Normal University, turned his pain and anger into strength which he used to found the Peng Wan-ru Foundation, dedicated to continuing his wife's fight for women's rights.

Horng Wann-sheng, a professor of mathematics at National Normal University, turned his pain and anger into strength which he used to found the Peng Wan-ru Foun dation, dedicated to continuing his wife's fight for women's rights.