Single and Happy!

Smart real estate agents have long targeted singles, who have considerable purchasing power, with "single occupancy" and "studio" offers. The single lifestyle is a growing trend, and business is booming.

Why be single?

Some people have not yet married and some don't want to get married; some are divorced, and others are widowed.

People in the last two categories have tasted married life. But why don't people in the first two marry? Most say, "I don't rule out marriage, but I haven't met the right person, and have somehow ended up single."

Without family burdens, Anna Wang leads a contented existence. Her only anxiety is about her two cats and eight fish. (photo by Jimmy Lin)

A passing traveler

As bachelor Lin Han-chang sees it, not only are there no disadvantages to being single, there's also the advantage of having no-one nagging at you, and no extra burdens.

Lin remembers to this day how, as his father approached death, the old man viewed him with rancor because he was his only son who remained unmarried. Ten years on, Lin is still single.

Lin, a book and antiques dealer, spends his days immersed in books and is too busy to even think of looking for a soul mate.

Like a passing traveler on life's journey, Lin has no ambition to continue the family line. Nor does he worry that he has no-one to whom to bequeath the books and antiques he has worked so hard to collect. What will happen to all his treasures after his death? Lin says, "Whatever. I might just leave them to libraries and museums."

Most people raise sons as insurance against the insecurity of old age, but that's not how Lin sees it: "Raising sons as insurance is not as good as buying real insurance." Lin says self-reliance is a safer bet. As well as having several savings accounts and insurance policies, Lin keeps in good health with reishi, pollen and vitamins.

Since his parents passed away, every Lunar New Year's Eve, when Chinese families get together, Lin goes to eat at his sister's home, handing out traditional red envelopes of money and enjoying the New Year's atmosphere. Then he takes a taxi back to his bachelor pad for a good night's sleep.

Small is beautiful

A bachelor's life is to do as he pleases; a single woman's is also one of contentment

Anna Wang, a former magazine editor, sold her small Taipei apartment, and has moved to Taichung, where she is busy negotiating the establishment of a new branch of the Guggenheim Museum. She rents a large apartment for just NT$11,000 a month.

In recent years, Anna has seen both her parents die, suffered a serious illness herself, and changed careers. Almost 50, she is increasingly aware of the impermanence of life, and is starting to change her mind about being single. She says, "In these changing times, people often change jobs and where they live, so I thought I might just as well sell my house and unburden myself."

Did she become single of her own choice? Like many well-to-do singles, Anna Wang "ended up single in a natural sort of way."

In the past, Anna passed up two or three opportunities to get married. Once she even went as far as picking the wedding invitations, but she shrank back at the last minute because the marriage would have meant leaving her parents and moving to America.

Her reluctance to leave her family and her devotion to her parents made Anna miss several opportunities to get married. She says, "Over time, I've become more and more self-centered in my habits, found it increasingly difficult to compromise, and gotten less and less flexible and willing to make concessions when it comes to getting what I want." On the one hand, she says, she has seen a great deal of life and her horizons have been widened, but on the other, as she has gotten older, she has become a less attractive proposition in the marriage market. Even if she wanted to, finding a husband would be harder for her than it used to be.

It may be that as a single person she is aware of potential problems, or it may have been the breast cancer she contracted a few years ago, but Anna Wang is very conscious of the importance of staying healthy. She says, "No-one can help you bear the pain and suffering of illness. Irrespective of whether you have family, you're the one doing the suffering." When she was hospitalized, Anna saw many elderly people come to the hospital on their own. She felt very sorry for these lonely old people, and wondered, "Don't they have children or family? Where are they?" According to Anna nobody can feel the pain for you when you are sick, and this is even truer of single people. Besides buying insurance, she makes sure to get enough exercise. To stay as fit as possible, she swims and does calisthenics regularly.

All good things come to an end

After her father died a few years ago, Anna Wang was left alone with two cats, a hamster, and eight fish in a tank. "I used to be very afraid of losing a family member, but after I found myself alone, I felt relieved." Anna expresses the startling opinion that because losing a member of one's family is so painful, the smaller the family, the better.

Today, Anna has no attachments. Her only worry is her pets. She explains, "If I find myself about to die before my pets, I may leave my insurance money to a friend willing to look after them."

Anna dismisses social responsibilities like having children with a laugh. She acts according to the dictates of her conscience, and swears by a philosophy of self-interest: "People cannot live alone in the world, but in an interdependent world, the paramount responsibility of every individual is to do one's bit and look after oneself to the best of one's ability."

Is being single lonely?

"You can feel lonely in a crowd and, as the Chinese saying goes, sadness follows a parting!" Anna Wang tells herself and the world. Can a single's apartment be a "home"? Anna Wang and Lin Han-chang could not care less!