Find Me a Find--Mama Jan the Matchmaker

In the big office of "Super Matchmaker-Mama Jan," several women carefully look through the files of mate seekers and break into occasional discussion about the possibility of a certain match. From time to time, someone will pick up the phone to arrange a meeting between a prospective pair. Says one of the matchmakers: "To be a good matchmaker, you have to be a real 'people person.' You have to have a sense of morals and ethics, and you have to take genuine interest in other people's lives." The office is run by "super matchmaker" Mama Jan, who in spite of her degree from prestigious National Taiwan University has thrown herself headlong into the age-old practice of matchmaking.

Runs in the family

Mama Jan was preceded in the profession by her mother-in-law, "super-duper matchmaker" Granny Jan.

Now in her late 70s, Granny Jan made her first match at the age of 29 when, on the spur of the moment, she introduced an employee at her father's company to a former classmate. Before too long she had made matches for a dozen or so couples in her native Taichung. Deriving a great sense of accomplishment from her inadvertent success, she began to work actively on her matchmaking. Granny Jan has compiled a phenomenal track record; among the 1000-plus couples that she has brought together over the past 48 years, only four have divorced.

Her family used to laugh at her for being a matchmaker at such a young age, but she was unfazed. Back in the days when Granny Jan was a traditional matchmaker operating in a traditional society, her success rate was quite high, but the situation is different in modern Taiwan, where men and women have so many more opportunities to meet. According to Ms. Yu, a matchmaker at "Mama Jan-Super Matchmaker," people today are choosier, and this has made it more difficult to induce couples to get hitched. "When considering a possible mate," says one matchmaker, "I've seen more than one young woman who, in addition to looking at the guy's personality and weighing how she feels in his presence, will actually specify beforehand that she won't have anyone with a 'spare tire' at the waist." Mrs. Yu laughs that although this picky attitude makes it tough to bring couples together, matchmakers still manage to score a success about once in every 30 to 50 attempts, and "some people find that they really do have compatible lifestyles, and end up getting married in just two months."

Another member of the matchmaking team is the man they call "Papa Jan," who often went along as a young boy to help his mother at arranged meetings between prospective mates. A piece of candy was sufficient to secure the young boy's cooperation. Papa Jan looks back with fondness on those formal occasions, when one was careful to maintain a certain decorum in the presence of the opposite sex. With that experience under his belt, he decided three years ago at the age of 57 that in addition to his full-time job at a trading company, he would get involved in the matchmaking business by helping his wife, the outgoing Chu Li-li, set up "Super Matchmaker-Mama Jan" next door to the Asia Pacific Hotel on Taipei's east side. The Jan clan uses a traditional one-on-one style of matchmaker-moderated meetings to help eligible young singles find dating partners, hopefully leading to marriage.

"Super Matchmaker-Mama Jan" has ten full-time matchmakers and over 6000 customers on file, most of whom are very highly educated. Many have masters' and doctoral degrees, and quite a few are men who have recently returned from overseas universities and are looking urgently for a partner. Papa Jan gets rather worked up talking about them: "I really get mad seeing all these bright young guys who only know what they've studied in books. They don't know the first thing about how to handle themselves in society. They don't think to go out and appreciate art, or do anything fun." Waving a balled fist, Papa Jan complains: "They even show up for a date dressed in ratty old clothes! It's pathetic!"

Spreading the good word

Indeed, the atmosphere at the office often brings to mind an old Chinese saying: "The emperor shows less concern for his own welfare than the chief eunuch does." Papa Jan and Mama Jan, and even their assistant Ms. Tien, often find themselves emotionally drained by their efforts to help young people find mates as quickly as possible, but only a matchmaker can know how wonderful it feels to see these efforts pay off in a happy union.

"International matchmaker" Auntie Chen, who speaks Mandarin, Taiwanese, English, and Japanese, often arranges matches for scholars returning with degrees from abroad. "I came here because I had retired and needed something to do. The customers are just like children to me, and when I help them look for a partner, it feels just as if I were picking a bridegroom for my own daughter. It's this sense of commitment that puts many of our customers at ease."

Auntie Hsiang, a retired junior high school teacher, is another of the matchmakers on staff: "I don't feel like I'm particularly accomplished in any way, but I can bring an accomplished young pair together in our meeting room and get them to throwing off the first sparks of love, and that feels really great!"

Asked about the veteran matchmaker's secret for catalyzing a quick match, Auntie Hsiang and Auntie Chen both agree, "It's all up to fate." Oh! So now we find out that there's no logic to affection! Says Auntie Hsiang: "Affection has nothing to do with nationality, religion, or race." A Christian herself, she adds with a laugh that other parishioners at her church might chew her out if they heard her say such a thing, but she feels that since God is acting through her to bring happy couples together, the act of matchmaking is the same as spreading the Gospel, and it's all very much worth it if she can help single young men and women to find "unconditional love."

Auntie Hsiang is not alone in her belief that matchmaking is like evangelizing; nearly everyone at the office concurs in this sentiment. Indeed, the group's website states: "Motivated by the love of Jesus Christ, we give our absolute best effort to arrange happy marriages, just as if we were looking for partners for our own children."

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Mama and Papa Jan look through their records and discuss possible matches. The two matchmakers practically forget that it's not their own children they're seeking mates for, and they often feel a greater sense of urgency than the clients themselves do. (photo by Jimmy Lin)

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At the office of "Super Matchmaker-Mama Jan," the staff keep updated on the lives of their clients.

(photo by Jimmy Lin)