I'm called a "pangolin."
I'm short, under a yard tall, with stubby little legs, a sharp nose and tail, and a belly fully half as big around as I am long. Pointy on both ends and potbellied in the middle, I know I'm not much to look at.
But I do make a contribution to mankind. Like anteaters, I eat termites, which chew on trees and destroy forests. I am their nemesis.
Termites, which live in rotten wood or underground, have a hard time escaping my wonderful snout. I dig up their colonies with my sharp claws and then stick in my foot-long tongue-it's as easy as shooting "termites" in a barrel.
Don't think I'm a "long-tongued gossip," either. All us ant-eating animals have long, nimble tongues, lightning-fast and covered with stickum that keeps the ants from getting away.
I'll tell you a secret--I don't have any teeth. But gulping down my food doesn't give me indigestion, because I have a horny stomach that grinds away like a bird's maw. And being toothless doesn't slow me down any eating termites; in five minutes I can gobble up a couple of hundred.
In Kaoan County, Kiangsi Province, people used to train me to protect forests. They figured that what with my eating a couple of pounds of termites a day, just one of me could protect about 40 acres of woodland. I've been called the "Guardian of the Forest."
The title fits. I'm also a pro at tree climbing. One hook with my claws, my tail around the trunk, and I'm up in a flash. My African cousins can even swing from branches with their tails like monkeys.
My Chinese name is ch'uanshanchia, or "bore mountain scale." And true to the name, not only can I tunnel into hills, but I've also got on a complete suit of armor.
My legs may be short but my claws are sharp. They're the tools I use to build my "house." When I find a good spot, I dig on down and pretty soon I've got a long tunnel, with connecting doors front and back.
My personality's shy and unsociable. I live alone, but come springtime I go out and look for a partner to marry. Babies come one at a time. After a year they go out on their own. In Taiwan we live in the mountains from a few hundred to a thousand yards high.
My body is covered with horny scales that overlap like a fish's. They're impenetrable, better than a knight's suit of armor.
My ancestors go back millions of years, but we're not very evolved zoologically. In a dog-eat-dog world, I don't attack others, so I've got to rely on my armor for self-defense.
I've got a trick to protect my underbelly and the insides of my legs: I roll up into a ball like a big pinecone. That way, no matter what my enemies try, as long as I just keep my temper and don't move, they'll usually lose interest and go away.
People believe that when I'm rolled up there's no way to force me to open out unless I want to. But some folks are really shrewd. They just carry me off and wait. I can't stay rolled up forever!
Other people go right for our holes and flood us out. I can tunnel but I can't swim, so all I can do then is raise the white flag.
People catch us because they say our scales can ward off evil and our meat, stewed with Chinese angelica and wolfberry, is a nourishing food. Actually, if you think about it, how nourishing can an animal that eats ants really be?
In the whole wide world I've only got three kinds of pangolin cousins in Asia and four in Africa--pitifully few. When goodhearted people see me in the countryside, they often take me to the zoo, so I don't wind up a delicacy on some bad man's table.
But my intractable temperament gives zookeepers fits. No zoo has ever kept me alive for long yet.
It's not that I'm hard to look after. It's just that people don't know how to find termites. Even though they feed me with substitutes they think are pretty good, I stick by my principles and refuse.
Plus I like to live in shady woods and holes, and zoos don't have that kind of "equipment." A lot of my buddies just die of depression.
My Latin name is "Manis," meaning I'm nocturnal. Think about it-even if I were willing to live in a zoo, who would want to go there at night to see me?
"Stick to your guns." That's my motto. What do you think--am I a character?