The Family Helper

The Family Helper of Taipei County finds homes for children who for one reason or another cannot be taken care of by their parents. When their parents find the means to support them again, the children return to their original home. The staff has plenty of experience in this work, but when Ah Chieh's father came seeking a home for his boy, they were stuck for a solution. Most children helped by Family Helper are "normal," and few families are willing to take in the "special cases." Finally one of the staff had a brainstorm, "Try Mrs. Yuan."

In her mid-thirties and plump with shoulder-length hair, Mrs. Yuan is the picture of the typical housewife. She lives with her husband and two sons in a modest apartment in Panchiao, one of the crowded, gritty cities lying on the edge of Taipei. On the balcony live a family of squirrels, and elsewhere in and about the house, one can find parrots and a small, frisky dog, with the English name of "Puppy."

"I like little guys," says Mrs. Yuan. She grew up in a remote mountain home, where her parents spent most of their energies trying to put food on the table, and paid much more attention to her older brothers than her. Her solution to this life of loneliness was to take care of small animals and children who had no one to look after them.

After her two sons started junior high school, Mrs. Yuan applied to Family Helper, and within fourteen months had given a home to three children. When asked why she took in Ah Chieh, she simply replied, "No one wanted him."

Ah Chieh's parents divorced when he was two, and he went to live with his father. His father drove a cab that was still being paid for and, having no time to take care of Ah Chieh, entrusted him to an older woman. Last November, his father while driving hit a pedestrian and, to make the compensation payments, was forced to sell the car and rent another from an agency. At the same time, he still had payments to make on the original car, and went to Family Helper for assistance.

In the meantime, the older woman, who was illiterate and ran a small store, had little time to look after Ah Chieh. Her main concern was that he not cry or make trouble. Her own children had already grown, meaning Ah Chieh had no one to talk to. Ah Chieh was five, when he should have a repertory of 2060 sentences, but when he arrived at Mrs. Yuan's home all he could say was, "I don't want," "good," and "Ah Chieh."

When Ah Chieh first saw Mrs. Yuan, he pushed her away. Fortunately, she had come prepared with two jars of candy, and after three days, he was so attached to Mrs. Yuan that her son was thinking of ways to express the glue-like way he stuck to her around the house.

Every morning after breakfast Mrs. Yuan would take Ah Chieh to kindergarten, and then head back home and try to two hours before he came back. Otherwise, with Ah Chieh beside her with every step she took, nothing would get accomplished.

She took Ah Chieh to the eye doctor, who found that the boy was farsighted and had strabismus. Another doctor said that his speaking problem was all due to a lack of practice, which greatly relieved Mrs. Yuan. Right away she started teaching him the names of objects, colors, and enrolled him in a kindergarten. Other skills mastered early in the Yuan household were wearing pants, brushing one's teeth, and using chopsticks.

Ah Chieh proved to be a lively child, so lively that Mr. Yuan had to stop taking her afternoon nap. Left to his own devices, the boy would mix water with the soy sauce, spray bug spray until the can was empty, and flush the toilet over and over, since playing with water was one of his greatest joys. Other pursuits which kept Mrs. Yuan on her toes were pulling Puppy's legs and tearing up pieces of paper, which all too often were someone's homework or newspaper.

"Sometimes I really considered teaching him a lesson," remembers Mrs. Yuan, "but then I thought, what if he says, 'You're not my mother, so you don't love me.'" She did raise her hand a few times, but always brought it down gently.

Some of her family wondered at times if the whole effort was worth it, but Mrs. Yuan persisted. During the third week Ah Chieh's father phoned, which excited the boy to say, "Mommy, it's Daddy! Daddy!" (Family Helper discouraged the father from making contact with Ah Chieh, for fear it would disturb his sense of wholeness with his new family.)

Mrs. Yuan then searched high and low for advice and materials that would help her manage with Ah Chieh. Counselors encouraged her to play along with him but make him fear her when the need arose. In time his speaking ability improved and he became gentler with small creatures.

Mrs. Yuan is taking care of Ah Chieh for a year, as spelled out in the agreement with Family Helper. She has no regrets about being unable to keep him. "Just so long as he can adapt well to his own home, then I can rest easy." She still keeps in close contact with the families of the children she took in earlier.

Family Helper is run with financial support from the local government, and Mrs. Yuan received NT$4000 (US$100) monthly to help her with Ah Chieh's expenses. Despite the problems involved, many families are willing to help, with the majority being housewives whose children have grown and now have time on their hands. Family Helpers have been providing these services for five years now in Taiwan. The qualifications for taking in a child are simple. The parents must both be willing, between 35 and 50 years of age, happily married, and with at least a high school education. They should also have a steady income and not have more than two children under twelve.

In addition to bringing happiness to the foster family, this service also makes a big difference to the original parents. Said one grateful mother in a letter to Family Helper: "I now want to tell my children the world is full of warm people, and that when the time comes, we ought to open our arms and our hearts to help those that need it."

[Pictur Explain]

"Time for homework. Now let's first put away our paper airplanes." Mrs. Yuan coaxes Ah Chieh into picking up his things.

Puppy is most affectionate at mealtime.

Here we go. Now this is a hook, not a circle.

(Top) Ah Chieh lends a hand to Puppy, but lets go every time, letting him slip back down.

(Bottom) "Uncle Yuan. . ." Ah Chieh uses his persuasive powers to try and get a piece of candy from the top of the refrigerator.

"Time for homework. Now let's first put away our paper airplanes." Mrs. Yuan coaxes Ah Chieh into picking up his things.

Puppy is most affectionate at mealtime.

Here we go. Now this is a hook, not a circle.

（Top） Ah Chieh lends a hand to Puppy, but lets go every time, letting him slip back down.

（Bottom） "Uncle Yuan. . ." Ah Chieh uses his persuasive powers to try and get a piece of candy from the top of the refrigerator.